UnNews:Monster felled in server purge
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Monster felled in server purge
Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard
Saturday, July 4, 2015, 02:50:UTC)(
22 November 2006
SILICON VALLEY, Alaska -- The great Godzilla-Mothra-Evil Superman clone that has terrorised the dells of Central Nebraska ever since the rise of the Internet has finally been slain. The 400 tonne, green beast had killed the dreams of hundreds of techies in the valley by crushing their web site's presence online.
In a January interview, the incredible titan stated, "Well, I realised that web directories weren't going to fly the moment Magellan surfaced on the ground. So I began ripping down low rise office towers like they were high rise office towers." Incredible respondents said they were "tired of the gargantuan juggernaut's reign of terror" (immediately before being crushed).
The monster was also leader of a cult of toadies, who were reported to maraud over the many submissions that mindlings had placed in the central repository, deleting and moving many of them without repentance. One toady, a middle-level directory editor from Texas by the alias of Doombersaurus, stated that he was relieved that the grip of the monster had been broken. "It just tore my heart out every time I made a caustic policy statement to one of the prisoners."
The monster, who was on easy street until October, experienced the fatal event while dining at New York's finest, Little Vinnie's. A waiter came over, but was so disgusted by the million-foot-tall creature that she upchucked. Mozilla, having realised that server purges were his weakness and he had to die, did.
The smoking rubble of the dominion's primary lair (Devilish Monster Of Zeal), can be located at this site in the mountains. The creature's death took about two weeks, average for an open-source mascot.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|