UnNews:Modern Wales: Wales Culture International
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.
30 August 2009
Los Angeles -- Ministers from Europe and the USA have met this week in L.A. for further talks and discussions regarding the promotion of the Wales Culture International. The harp players and mixed choirs should tour around more and put Wales on the map of the world. Shabby Bed and Breakfast places will be transformed in the next 70 years, esp. the bathroom carpets will be replaced with leftover tiles from English building projects.
The First Minister of Wales said "We must market the rain now. It can be relaxing and tourists will never get sunburn. The dark weather will teach people about Wales and their ancestors - rhaid cofio, must remember!"
Big concerns were raised mentioning a general decline of interest in this matter since the beginning of the 2009 BBQ summer (heatwave).
Also, the closure of the National Library of Wales (NLW) on weekdays since April this year contributed to the lack of interest in the culture from Wales. The Library with books on flies now opens only on Sundays after chapel and on Saturdays during the summer vacations. You could never borrow books from the NLW - but now as a poet in the Pabell Len said during the Eisteddfod in Y Bala, files could be deleted with one push of a button (digitisation).
Americans were worried about the swine flu in Wales and of starvation. Mainland Europeans raised the subject of the long opening hours of the Welsh tea rooms and the death of the British pub. The fact that a tearoom closed at half past five all over Wales was so comforting. The staff then started hoovering and putting chairs on tables. Some of these chairs were given as prizes during the Eisteddfod Genedlaethol again.
Now everything is so different.
Culture from Wales. "Mae'n bwysig". It is important - "and never forget our language", ministers pointed out again and again. If you speak it, you will be able to read "Sylw" - a new magazine by a guy who has just retired from the Library in Aberystwyth - and now is too poor to live on a pension and just enjoy life in Wales. Where else!??
Welsh is being spoken by 99% of the population while English is in decline, it is spoken widely throughout Germany where Molly Polly still gives classes, also in America and in Patagonia of course.
In 2010 the Euro will be officially introduced by the Assembly Government. In Blaenau Ffestiniog, visitors are allowed to use American Dollars.