UnNews:Mobiles to become everything
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Mobiles to become everything
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Sunday, August 2, 2015, 15:12:UTC)(
21 November 2006
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EARTH, Milky Way Galaxy -- Mobile Phones hope to become everything.
This break-through idea first came to the President's circuit board, when Wallets, Car Keys, Heart transplants and Concert Tickets were taking valuable market percentage. From that, he devised a plan that would make the Mobile Phone all of these, therefore, allowing Mobile Phones to become 100% of the sales market.
These new devices will be put in Phones and they can hold very valuable information, so they can act as car keys and other belongings, for example, your memories of 96'. These are great ideas if your Phone gets stolen, because you can't drive anywhere, or you can't phone someone to come and pick you up.
"This is a bloody stupid idea," said a West London local, "there is a lot of crime going on, and the prime target is Mobiles."
"Yeah, I agree with this man" commented a Passer-by, "I have never stolen a phone in my life, so if this proposed idea goes ahead, it will be good, bad, it will be bad."
"I could make a living out of this, steal a tiny object? and get a car? this is amazing." said a masked man, wearing a black and white striped jumper.
The President of Phones stated this in reply, "Even if they steal your phone, they have still got to find your car."
Companies like Vodafone are backing this idea, and it on it's own is 40% of the communications market.
This new, safe, sensible technology, will come into affect (hopefully) in the New Year.