UnNews:Missouri opens first day-care for troubled adults
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Missouri opens first day-care for troubled adults
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Sunday, May 29, 2016, 04:03:UTC)(
9 November 2006
Buffalo, Missouri (Not New York) (AP) - Missouri has become the first state in America to open up a day care center for troubled adults. A new day care has opened up in Buffalo to cater to the needs of adults with behavioural and emotional problems. Abused children welcome the new day care as progress in the treatment of their behaviourally disturbed parents. The day care which features teddy bears and pink walls is said to soothe and calm fussy adults.
The adults needed to be kept in small cells for most of the time at the center due to recent renovations. This was caused when several of the adults had temper tantrums which resulted in parts of the center being damaged.
Daycare operator Mike Rackley said he decided on the colour scheme and teddy bears after the adults damaged the center in a temper tantrum on October 8th. "And it's a calming thing — Teddy bears are soothing." The tantrums occurred only one week after the day-care center opened. Asked to describe why the day care was started Rackley stated that it is " a day care for adults who can't control their behavior in public."
The new day-care facility is the brainchild of Canadian Socialist Party leader Jack Layton and president of the World Union of Sissies and Socialists (WUSS), Michael Moore. Both Moore and Layton have stated that adults with behavioural issues are not criminals but victims of mental illness that needs to be treated not punished. The goal of Moore and Layton is to open up more of these facilities across North America and hope to expand into Europe and elsewhere in the world. Layton is also scheduled to leave for Afghanistan next month to lay the groundwork for a new day care center for Taliban fighters who have been captured by NATO troops.