UnNews:Missouri Governor requests Israeli help
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Missouri Governor requests Israeli help
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, March 23, 2018, 15:14:UTC)(
18 August 2014
JEFFERSON CITY, Missouri -- Missouri Governor Jay Nixon has made a formal invitation to Israel to help contain the current violence in Ferguson. In a shock move, Nixon explained he was bypassing Barack "Pontius Pilate" Obama to go straight to the experts at crowd control. If that meant Israel, then he would do it.
It was a no brainer, said Governor Nixon. Israel has years of experience dealing with stone throwing looters and fanatics in their country. They use the same equipment as our police forces but unlike here, they know how to use it.
The surprise announcement that an American state had requested international help has delighted Libertarians and Tea Party supporters. For them it will show that once again a USA government cannot even protect its own people and needs someone else to help out. Governor Jay has said the move to introduce Israeli security forces was a "temporary measure" and that they will be soon returning to Gaza in time for the next
war peacekeeping mission.
Israel's Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said he "welcomed" Missouri's request and will be sending in drones, missile strikes, and "diggers" to check out secret tunnels in the area. He hopes that in return Missouri will back his tough line against Iran.
In Ferguson, the reaction to news was renewed long-distance calls to the Palestinians about how to combat the Israelis if this happens. It may also encourage others to designate Gaza as their "Sister City" in a common struggle against "Missouri-Israeli militarism."