UnNews:Mississippi abortionists licensed to kill

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Mississippi abortionists licensed to kill

Straight talk, from straight faces

UnNews Logo Potato
Wednesday, March 21, 2018, 07:53:59 (UTC)

F iconNewsroomAudio (staff)Foolitzer Prize

Feed-iconIndexesRandom story

14 July 2012


Mississippi law may curtial abortions someday.

JACKSON, MS – The sole surviving baby-killing mill in Jackson, Mississippi, won a temporary reprieve from a federal judge who said that the “clinic” must comply with state law requiring abortionists to obtain “a license to kill,” but not any time soon. Neither of the two baby killers in the state presently hold such a license. They have until “doomsday” to acquire one, the judge said.

“We are trying to get one,” Dr. Mary Jones, who wishes to remain anonymous, told Unnews reporter Lotta Lies, “but the AMA [American Medical Association] frowns upon such licenses, seeing a conflict between them and the Hypocritical Oath's requirement that physicians, even OBY-GYNs, “harm no one.” As “radical” as it may sound, she said, “a few of our members consider an unborn baby to be a 'someone' rather than a nothing.”

Posing as a 'reproductive rights clinic,” the abortion mill murdered thousands of babies—an average of 200 per year—before the tough new law that requires its practitioners to obtain what critics—mostly members of Planned Parenthood (PP) and the National Organization for Women (NOW)—call a “007 permit.” Ian Fleming's secret government agent, 007, had a “license to kill,” although he used it to assassinate thugs, terrorists, and enemy spies rather than unborn children.

None of the hospitals in Mississippi have responded to “an emergency plea” by the abortion mill. “No physicians seem interested in our cause,” Jones said. She fears that, “if we cannot find doctors who are compassionate enough to kill unwanted babies, pregnant women will have no option but to let their pregnancies come to term and become mothers—a fate worse than death.”

Planned Parenthood provides free birth-control devices and drugs on demand, but, according to Bertha Butt, “women would rather kill their brats than avoid them. Intrauterine devices and contraceptive sponges are invasive, they feel, and their men don't want anything, even a layer of Latex, to come between them and their lovers. The only alternative is to kill the spawn.”

Personal tools