UnNews:Missing Malaysian plane may have flown to the Moon
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Missing Malaysian plane may have flown to the Moon
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, May 6, 2016, 08:09:UTC)(
17 March 2014
KUALA LUMPUR , Malaysia -- Government officials in Malaysia have confirmed that their latest theory is that missing flight MH370 is currently heading towards the Moon. At a packed news conference in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysian Minister Dr. Ewok Hope-Ebbing claimed the pilot could have escaped Earth's gravity and is now flying his plane towards the moon.
"We have tried every other theory and this is the only that now makes sense," said Dr. Ewok Hope-Ebbing, Minister of Science, Space Travel, Technology and Invention.
Investigators combing through the home of senior pilot Zaharie Ahmad Shah said he owned his own flight simulator, which had not been programmed to practice either a crash or an attack on the Twin Towers; he was only a "moderate" Muslim, and he was a friendly guy, renowned for inviting sexy women into airline cockpits for "selfies." Dr. Hope-Ebbing said this shows the attack was not terrorism and the flying public is not at special risk.
"We know Mr. Ahmad Shah was a fan of surreal British humourist Eddy Izzard and pulling a stunt like this is a possibility. My government cannot put it any stronger than that. Personally, I am more a fan of the Clangers," he added.
Flight MH370 was last seen heading towards Vietnam before switching direction and then disappearing. Dr. Hope-Ebbing dismissed reporters who argued that a Boeing could not fly in space as "lacking imagination — totally bereft of a sense of humour."
Stories of missing aircraft have often suggested that many have been secretly flown to the Moon. The respectable British newspaper the Sunday Sport once confidently reported that a missing Second World War bomber had been found on the Moon, but that NASA had covered it up.
Doctor Hope-Ebbing added: "The Malaysian Government is fed up clutching at straws or organising a wild goose chase across Asia. If the missing plane is not on the Moon then, give us a few more days, and we will come up with another theory about where it has really gone."