UnNews:Missing Maddie's parents to record duet with Bono
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Missing Maddie's parents to record duet with Bono
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, July 7, 2015, 01:33:UTC)(
14 June 2007
LISBON, PORTUGAL - Parents of missing child Madeleine McCann, who has now been missing for over 45 days, are to record an album based around their recent tour of Europe. The funding for the tour is said to be sourced by the enormous amount of financial support garnered by their supporters in all 30 countries they have visited in the hunt for their missing daughter and/or her kidnapper.
Tour dates have so far included;
- Various American destinations including the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, DisneyWorld and Palm Springs
- The Great Wall of China
So far the search has not produced any reliable information as to the whereabouts of the 4 year-old however with the support of sympathisers the devoted parents will not limit their search to the above.
edit Extreme Devotion
The parents do not intend to stop there. The destinations for the rest of their search include hiking in the Tibetan mountains, diving in the Maldives and talks of swimming with dolphins, all in the hope of finding their missing daughter.
The tour has this week been marred by Kate McCann's collapse due to 'exhaustion' in the early hours outside a Hollywood nightclub, an occurrence which is to be expected due to the constant amount of interviews, talk show slots and advertising endorsements the hunt has garnered. Gerry McCann, Madeleines father, equates the loss of their child to the loss felt when "you check your bank balance and there's no money in it", a comment that has probably seen the most heartfelt responses.
This devastating scenario portrayed by McCann is something that supporters certainly will not allow to happen, the donations from supporters have ensured that whilst their daughter is still missing their bank balances have remained perfectly healthy.
edit Future Plans
When Maddy is discovered alive and well, as we all hope here at UnNews, her parents plant to revisit all of their planned destinations to "show that she is in fact still alive and well". Any remaining funds from the appeal will most likely be used towards a yacht and an early retirement for the family, to show their sympathy for all other missing children whose parents were less enterprising.