UnNews:Miss Piggy sues Britney over "intellectual property" dispute

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11 December 2007

Mspiggy

"That bitch stole my act!" Miss Piggy offered these photos as proof.

Spearspig

Miss Piggish?

Hollywood, CA (UP2) - Famed Muppet Miss Piggy, known for her outlandish self-absorption and piggy characteristics, has filed a lawsuit in Los Angeles County Court against Britney Spears, claiming “intellectual property infringement.” The suit says Miss Spears “knowingly and decidedly acted in a manner that is the intellectual property of Miss Piggy and her ongoing character by propagating self-absorption and deliberate weight gain.” Miss Piggy, who was available for comment said, “Next she’ll be using a falsetto voice and suckling all of her kids at the same time!” Piggy, who is being represented by the famed Hollywood law firm of Dewey, Cheatam and Howe, said that Spears “attempt to look like me was the last straw in my bed. It’s obvious, she really needs to get her own act and quit mooching off of mine.

F. N. Howe, a member of Miss Piggy’s dream team, said, “Miss Spears attempt to have a litter of little Spearlets is a desperate attempt to infringe on the last bastion of Miss Piggy’s career. Everyone knows Miss Piggy is sterile, and this is a slap in the face to a woman, er, sow that always wanted a litter of her own.” There has been much speculation over whether Miss Piggy is sterile or her attempts to breed with a frog have proven futile. Kevin Federline, who played the Kermit to Britney’s Piggy, said, “I could see the change in her. She was getting more and more grandiose and large at the same time. When she had her lips enlarged I knew it was just a matter of time until Miss Piggy noticed, too.” Howe claimed that Federline was willing to be a witness for the Piggy team. “His fifteen minutes aren’t over yet,” said Howe. A spokesperson for Miss Spears said, “the accusations are ludicrous. Everyone knows Miss Piggy can actually sing, and Britney has never attempted such a thing. Just because she’s grandiose, wears too much makeup and has outrageous wigs and has fat lips and has gained a few pounds…hey, wait, I see what you’re saying!” The lawsuit is scheduled to be on the docket around the end of the decade.

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