UnNews:Minister just making up history as he goes
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Minister just making up history as he goes
Where man always bites dog
Sunday, January 22, 2017, 19:13:UTC)(
20 August 2006
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
Problems playing this file? You might be a dope.
"One vote can make a huge difference," Inhofe said at First Methodist's 10 a.m. service. "One vote led to the passage of the Civil Rights of 1964. One vote gave Adolf Hitler control of the Nazi Party in 1921."
"And one person can make an enormous difference," Inhofe continued. "One day in 1944, a German soldier decided he didn't want to go to church that day. He wanted to have fun. So he went down to a pond to do some skating. On his way there, the soldier ran into the 101st Airborne Division. And the Battle of the Bulge began."
Inhofe led his congregation through many other events in made-up history, including the destruction of Rome by the Philistines, Henry VIII's conquest of Switzerland in 1508 and the legalization of homosexuality during the French Revolution.
Members of the First Methodist congregation praised Inhofe after the service.
Inhofe admits to being a history buff, but says his error-ridden tales help proclaim Jesus' message of redemption.
"I get in that pulpit to tell everyone at First Methodist how much God loves them," he said. "But that's not enough. You have to appeal to their minds as much as their hearts. Like how Abraham Lincoln got Congress to fund the Intercontinental Ballistic Missile."
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|