UnNews:Military uses for evil cloning technology?
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?|
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
5 January 2010
THE INTERNET -- Inspired by the hard-hitting reportage of Conservapedia News, UnNews has followed up on their story last month on secret cross-species cloning experiments, funded by liberal think tank The Alchemy Group. Sources at Strategic Sciences Labs in New Mexico have said that, in addition to the crossing of human and canine genes to produce hybrids, they have been using cloning and other means to create more genetically altered monstrosities.
Sources at the State Department hinted that many of these experiments are aimed at developing horrible armies of mutants for military use. A cat-human hybrid called a War Kitten has been created for special operations requiring feline cunning and fierceness and human intelligence.
Conservapedias Josiah Schmenkenkrantz said, "You know, these things sound a lot like the creatures in the Book of Revelation. My personal view is that the Obama administration, with the power of Satan behind it, will breed these creatures and loose them upon the Earth, ushering in the Apocalypse . I wouldn't be surprised at all to wake up tomorrow, and get raptured right after breakfast."