UnNews:Military seeks to accommodate all religious faiths
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.
15 November 2009
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
Says General Sidney Calumet of the Pentagons office of recruitment, "It's not unusual that we'd ask for the help of a religious figure in the defense of our country. Since his return from Hell, Mr. LeVey has become the go-to man for Satanists of all stripes."
Historically, the United States has been happy to push the idea of , "Service to God and country". "The Army's gotten it's fair share of cannon fodder from appealing to the religious side of the average American," says, Colonel Pugnas DeSantos of the Army Recruitment Headquarters in Fort Benning, Georgia. "Atheists and agnostics are not so pliable, but there's nothing wrong with having a devoted minion of Satan doing our dirty work in Iraq, now, is there?"