UnNews:Microsoft CEO dampens Vista sales forecast
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||UnFair and UnBalanced|
20 February 2007
SMOKING CRATER, Redmond, Friday (UNN Technology) — Microsoft chief executive officer Steve Ballmer believes that sales forecasts for its new Vista operating system may be "overly aggressive."
"I'm really excited about how enthusiastic everybody I've heard from is about Vista," he said. "But some of the forecasts for Vista sales in 2007-2008 don't seem to be panning out. I can't understand it. It's inconthievable!"
Ballmer blamed lower selling prices, limited new corporate sales, software piracy and a conspiracy of underpants gnomes for the problems. "I remember the queues of customers at the shops at midnight on release day," said Ballmer. "The fights! The riots! That can't all have been imaginary, can it. Seriously. It was on YouTube!"
Ballmer expects Vista to see greater sales growth in emerging markets such as in China, India and Brazil, where cracked copies of Vista Ultimate Edition that do not phone home are already available for $2 a DVD.
When analysts asked whether GNU/Linux systems with graphic sophistication comparable to Vista Aero that run on present hardware could possibly be a factor, Mr Ballmer started shouting something about "DEVELOPERS!" while black-suited security officers with red, yellow, green and blue lapel pins rapidly escorted the press from the room.
Apple, Inc. shares were up 5% in early trading.