UnNews:Michelle Obama struts her stuff (at taxpayer expense)
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Where man always bites dog|
30 July 2012
LONDON, UK – Barack Obama, the nation's first black president (or second, if Bill Clinton is still considered the first), the first openly gay president (he came out of the closet a few weeks ago, in support of the gay agenda), and relative of America's first slave (John Punch), has wracked up another first: his wife, First Lady Michelle, is the first black woman to attempt to upstage the United Kingdom's Queen Elizabeth by dressing better than members of the royal family!
Prince William's wife, the U. K.'s future queen, was recently seen wearing a $30 dress, and the British newspaper The Sun reports, she often goes topless to conserve money. During an Olympics reception at Buckingham Palace, Obama's wife wore a $6,800 J. Mendel designer gown that is not even available to middle and lower class Americans! “What's more, the jacket she wore with the gown cost an additional $4,284, more than most Americans earn in a month,” The Sun reported, 'and this at a time when The States and much of the rest of the world, the U. K. included, continue to suffer from a deep recession and record unemployment.”
“Barack has spent $15 trillion since he's been in office,” the First Lady said. “I think I'm entitled to spend a few thousand.”
In the past, however, Mrs. Obama has criticized Mitt Romney's wife, Anne, for wearing a $900 blouse and Sarah Palin for sporting a $300 pair of shoes.
“I'd say her criticisms of other women is a case of the pot calling the kettle black,” Romney said. “It seems that my opponent's wife is as hypocritical as her husband.” Romney also pointed out that his wife, Anne, purchased her blouse with her own money, whereas Obama's wife used taxpayer dollars to pay for her outfit.
Robert Verdi, a celebrity stylist who knows which side of the bread his butter is on, defended the First Lady's indefensible behavior: “She's not just wearing a $6,800 jacket; she's supporting the commerce of the nation. She's helping the tailor and the little dry cleaner on the corner stay in business—and she's supporting rich fashion designers like J. Mendel and me, so we can pay higher taxes.”
“Besides,” Verdi continued, “in that dress, she looks more like a lady than she does a linebacker.”
Asked what she thought of Michelle Obama's excesses, Palin replied, “I think her husband put it best: 'You can put a $6,800 dress on a pig, but it's still a pig.”