UnNews:Micheal Jackson's other glove found during colon scan
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Micheal Jackson's other glove found during colon scan
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, August 4, 2015, 03:35:UTC)(
HOLLYWOOD — A current Hollywood star initials G.C (full name withheld uner the orders of K. Rove) has recently undergone a colan-rectal exam at the Betty Ford clinic. During the exam, doctors found that G.C. has a strange shadow in the initial x-ray of the anal cavity and decided to probe it with his left hand. In an interview with the lead physician overseeing the strange case he had this to say, " I stuck my hand into Mr. Coleman's back end to feel for the embedded object in his ass. When I reached it I though he has a studded growth in this bung-hole but upon reaching deeper into Mr. Coleman's back-end I could put my hand into this object and it kind of fit like a glove."
A team of doctors then proceeded to try to remove this glove-like object from G.C. intitially without much sucess. Most likely because G.C. is a tight ass and will not give anything to everyone. However, at the end they had to ask Lennox Lewis to fly in from England to remove the object with his massive hand. This is what Mr. Lewis had to say about the event " Man, when they called me in the middle of the night, I was like" Bring it on man, bring it on!". I flew over at once knowing that another brother was in need to help getting out of a tight situation. Gary was a really brave dude to go though this whole event while laying spread eagle face down with 1st year female medical students looking on from the balcony above. I had to use a lot of vaseline to ease my hand in, but at the end, sorry no pun intended, it was all worth it"
When the glove was removed it was matched on the Inter-pol data base and was found to be the other studded glove that belonged to Micheal Jackson. A call to the singer's residence to seek comment from the singer was not immediately returned. A lawyer from Mr. Jackson has this statement to make "My client has disavowed any knowledge of this incident and catagorically denies any involvlement in this event. He has reassured us that he does not molest black children of any size or shape. We feel that this is another attempt to extort the singer and damage his credibility as a failed clone of Elizabeth Taylor."
Comment from G.C. has not been obtained as he is still under heavy anesthetics from the ordeal. However, O.J., has been asked by police to try on the glove to see if this one fits.