UnNews:Mexico seeks return to pre-1848 borders
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Mexico seeks return to pre-1848 borders
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Wednesday, January 18, 2017, 03:56:UTC)(
7 August 2006
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MEXICO DAY-EFFAY, Mexico, GNN (GOANNA NEWS NETWORK)
MEXICO will today ask the United Nations Security Council to vote on a plan that would see a full withdrawal of American troops and settlers from the occupied territories of California, Nevada, Arizona, Colorado, Utah, New Mexico and Texas.
The territories were annexed by the United States after the Mexican-American war of 1856-1858, in a controversial move that was never spoken of again. The oil-rich states of California and Texas, however, remain sacred to Mexicans, hundreds of thousands of whom have taken low-paid jobs as dishwashers and day labourers simply in order to live in their ancestral homeland.
Mexico's ambassador to the UN, Antonio Lopez de Santa Barbara, said it was essential for the pride of the Mexican nation and for the credibility of international law to have the territories returned immediately.
"We're not asking for reparations. We're not asking for anything we didn't have before those gringos gordos of Los pinche Estados Unidos invaded us in 1856," he said. "All we want is to get our land back, along with our oilfields and national parks. And our movie industry."
When told of Mr Lopez de Santa Barbara's comments, John Bolton, the US ambassador to the UN, who was shovelling a plate of huevos rancheros into his gob, said: "That uppity little taco bender better shut his tortilla hole. By the time I'm finished with him he'll wish he'd been born without huevos of his own."