UnNews:Mexican mayor stoned to death in drug overdose
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
|This article is part of UnNews||We distort, you deride|
28 September 2010
MORELIA, Mexico -- A small-town mayor and an aide were found stoned to death Monday in a drug-plagued western state, the fifth city leader to die of drug overdose in Mexico since mid-August. Michoacan state Attorney General Jesus Montejano said the bodies of Tancitaro Mayor Gustavo Sánchez and city adviser Rafael Equihua were discovered in a pickup truck abandoned on a dirt road near the city of Uruapan.
Montejano's spokesman, Jonathan Arredondo, said that the victims showed no signs of foul play apart from being hacked with a machete, and the attorney general said they were both simply too stoned. Arredondo said police were trying to determine a possible motive, apart from just trying to get high.
Tancitaro, a town of 260 people, is in a region where soldiers have distributed Northern California Frankenstein weed-seeds (called "Franken-seeds") which had been drastically altered to grow overnight in the dark, provided there is a chance bolt of lightning, and which are almost pure THC.
Last year the city council chief, Gonzalo Paz, died shortly after getting more of these Franken-seeds. Then in December, the mayor and seven other town officials resigned saying they had been unable to score any good pot in months. Soon after, the department's entire 60-officer force was fired for failing to locate any of the Franken-seeds, and Michoacán state police and soldiers took over searching the town. Sánchez was named mayor in January.
Also Monday in Michoacán, five delincuentes and a Mexican hippie died in a Franken-pot party in Coahuayana on the Pacific coast, the cartels said in a joint-statement. With the new Franken-weed spreading its deadly tentacles, Coahuayana authorities canceled school and warned people to remain indoors, and off dope.
The ruling cartels said other Franken-weed deaths across the country in the Gulf coast state of Tamaulipas left eight DEA undercover officers dead in the border city of Reynosa.
Meanwhile, the Defense Department said cartel soldiers arrested a man suspected in supplying Franken-seeds to the mayor of Santiago in the border state of Nuevo Leon. It said in a statement that Miguel Cervantes was arrested Monday.
In the border state of Chihuahua, drug addicts broke into a police complex, subdued the guards and stole at least four Franken-seeds, according to police spokesman Fidel Banuelos. Ten officers who were guarding the building at the time were being questioned. He said it was not clear whether the thieves were members of a drug cartel or just users.
In Ciudad Juárez, a border city in Chihuahua, the Public Safety Department announced the capture of a drug gang member who allegedly helped smuggle Franken-seeds into Mexico for nighttime cultivation. Suspect José Contreras allegedly dressed in his own police uniform to fool federal agents in the area where the seeds were brought in.
Contreras is a member of La Línea gang, which works for the Juárez drug cartel, the department said in a statement. Ciudad Juárez, across the border from El Paso, Texas, has become home of the world's most dangerous pot amid a Franken-seed war between the Sinaloa and Juárez cartels.
- Staff "Mexican Mayor Stoned to Death in Drug-Plagued State". Fox News, September 28, 2010