UnNews:Mexican develops apple-based fuel
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
Problems playing this file? You might be a dope.
Mexican develops apple-based fuel
The news outlet with approval higher than Congress
Sunday, March 25, 2018, 05:43:UTC)(
21 May 2014
José Paulo Argüello, of the Agrotechnology Sciences Faculty, said that the new fuel will underprice competing fuels, even considering the cost of making fuel lines and pumps wider to accommodate the apples as they roll toward the engine.
In Chihuahua, a kilogram of corn currently costs 5 pesos (US$0.00), whereas a kilogram of apples costs 1 peso (US$0.00). Mr. Argüello says the commercial implications are obvious: National petroleum monopoly Pemex would have at least 4 pesos (US$0.00) left over, which could either be embezzled or paid out as bribes to legislators.
The research follows the American ethanol craze, a government-backed move to convert the U.S. corn harvest into motor fuel, which had the unplanned effect of making the price of corn and other grains skyrocket, and unexpectedly made the popular Mexican tortilla unaffordable as well.
Mr. Argüello had no comment on competing projects to commercialize cockroach-based motor fuel, given that the popular insect retails for even less per kilogram than apples in this northern Mexican city; nor about the gathering trend to stop inventing alternatives to gasoline entirely and simply use fracking to produce more of it.