UnNews:Mexican delegation sent to Gaza for border-crossing study
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||A newsstand that's brimming with issues|
29 January 2008
RAFAH, Gaza Strip -- Mexican President Felipe Calderon has dispatched a delegation to the Middle East today, in order to study how Palestinians were so easily able to break down walls and cross illegally into Egypt. Mexicans hope to use last week's breakdown of the Gaza border as an inspiration for crossing into the United States. "We're hoping results of this study will allows us to triple, or even quadruple the number of our citizens crossing north into the U.S.," announced the President in a speech to parliament.
The team will make stops in both Gaza and Egypt, particularly in the divided town of Rafah. The 50-member delegation consists of experts from many disciplines, including civil engineering, migrant farm working, drug dealing, and even housekeeping. In addition to formal meetings with Hamas demolition experts, Egyptian security guards, and local civilians, the team will participate in a hands-on exercise in which they themselves will get to illegally cross the Gaza-Egypt border. "It should be perfect practice for the future," excitedly commented team member Sancho Panza, adding, "even the desert climate of the Middle East perfectly matches the conditions we will encounter in Arizona."
Although most of the group's focus will be on how to cross the border just once, learning how to travel back and forth between two countries will also be significant. This is because of commerce - particularly drug traffic. Small-time marijuana smuggler [[Juan Valdez]] confided that "factoring the danger of crossing the border really hikes up the price of our goods - if we could develop more reliable methods, both American consumers and our Mexican producers will benefit." President Calderon clearly concurs with Mr. Valez's views, revealing that over 30% of the county’s GDP comes from illegal drug trade with the United States. The smugglers are hoping Palestinians can teach them a thing or two. "It really boggles the mind how many canisters of fuel a little 10 year-old boy can carry across the remnants of the barbed-wire fence in Rafah," said a delegate who wished to remain anonymous.
Palestinian officials meanwhile are very eager to meet the Mexican. Hamas leaders say that mutual cooperation will help their party "wage Jihad against America." In a deal struck between the two countries, the Mexicans promised to bring back certain bomb-making components and then smuggle them to the U.S. using their new skills. Agents already in America are to assemble the parts later. American officials had no comments on these developments, with the White House saying President Bush is "too busy worrying about his legacy" to deal with the real issues.