UnNews:Media over-analyse non-answers by Corbyn

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Media over-analyse non-answers by Corbyn

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17 January 2016


Corbyn used his dark force powers to mind-trick Andrew Marr into giving easy questions.

BBC STUDIOS, England -- Jeremy Corbyn gave an interview on the Andrew Marr Programme today in which Marr rigorously interrogated Corbyn on Labour's future policies. Corbyn gave a standard reply that "I'm afraid I don't know, as the party hasn't decided yet," and pointed out that his whole ethos was to have Labour decide policies democratically. This would take some time, as dissenters would first have to be weeded out. But once Marr had increased the speed of the flashing light, Corbyn admitted to his own policy preferences and the media immediately portrayed them as set-in-stone Labour policies for the next election.

The policies that Marr did pry out of Corbyn showed a distinct "retro" flair, such as his suggestion to scrap Trident warheads as a remnant of the Cold War, unnecessary now as, unlike the 1970s, there is scant threat of nuclear attack. Another goal was to repeal the Conservative act banning sympathy strikes from other trade unions. This suggestion was difficult for Marr to ferret out of Corbyn, who dodged the question twice, suggesting that under an expanded Labour-run welfare state, there would be no cause for strikes in the first place.

Finally, Marr asked Corbyn whether he would open communication with ISIS to resolve the Middle East crisis, as government have held backdoor talks with the IRA in the past, with Corbyn's active involvement, likewise with Hamas. Marr's case was marred by mentioning "IRA" five or six times more in the sentence, but ultimately Corbyn made Marr's point for him by dancing behind him wearing a leprechaun hat and waving a gun. This was something of a coincidence, as the right-wing elements of the media have often branded Corbyn an IRA sympathiser in the past, but an easy slip up to make by Marr.

Marr patted himself on the back for busying Corbyn for a whole half hour on foreign affairs while omitting any current news such as the recent BMA junior doctor's strike, the trade-union bill in the House of Lords, the flooding, and the debate on leaving the EU.

Corbyn finally found a question to which he could give a firm answer, regarding Donald Trump. Corbyn vowed to invite the American candidate to a mosque in his local constituency (or, as the Sun calls it, "Labour Party HQ") and show him the diversity of Britain that is the magnitude of the vote swing away from Labour in by-elections since Corbyn took the helm.

Corbyn's idea to postpone policymaking is a huge difference from his predecessor Ed Miliband, whose whole five-year term served to dispense with policymaking altogether, resulting in 2015 with the general election in which the public put aside a desire for good policies and settled for any clear policies.

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