UnNews:Media outlets receive chilling hurricane threat tape
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Media outlets receive chilling hurricane threat tape
Straight talk, from straight faces
Wednesday, May 27, 2015, 12:59 (UTC)
SEPTEMBER 22, 2005 — Several media outlets received a chilling video tape today featuring an Al Clouda spokesperson threatening the United States with continued attacks on their largest cities.
"Galveston shall be destroyed as well. Glenn Campbell is overrated," the cloud continued.
"We will maintain air superiority", he insisted, as a formation of heavily-armed Hurricane Hunter planes, contracted from Halliburton, scrambled for takeoff.
"We are not scared of Bush," said the cloud. "We shall continue to attack America with very strong winds and sensationalist press coverage."
The tape ended with the cloud issuing this chilling final statement: "Hurricane Rita will be our greatest warrior yet, unless of course she moves over some cooler water in the gulf, in which case she'll weaken and experience less wind speed... Jihad!"