UnNews:Media asked for more good news
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
26 December 2007
The Right Reverend Sheilagh Kesting, the Moderator of the General Assembly, said journalists could be the angels of a modern-day nativity. "It doesn't necessarily need to involve a baby being born in a shed, but instead of depressing everyone with depressing headlines such as Snowstorm pounds US Midwest, kills 11, why not write kid and his cute fluffy dog saved after fun days sledging?
This freelance reporter is pleased to lead UnNews into a new era of good news where even the worst of everything can be turned into tales of hope. For example:
Ceremonies have been taking place to mark the third anniversary of one of nature's incredible natural phenomenons: the Asian Tsunami. Thailand held ceremonies throughout the day along the stretch of coastline around the resort town of Khao Lak in the south to remember those that have gone up to that great big party in the sky which is free of all evil and AIDS.
The ceremonies also mark the millions of people in 13 countries who successfully avoided the 26 December 2004 event, which was triggered by an undersea earthquake. This great success story will now tell the story of millions of strangers that worked together to beat off death that had been staring them in the face in the form a giant wave of saltwater.
Thousands of families left with nothing and fearing that the end was nigh have been able to team together to resurrect their fortunes by beginning new lifes and businesses with nice new friends that they have made as the result of the event. Despite the loss of life and property, this shows just how resilient the human race can actually be when picking up the pieces despite having very little.
Three years on and it appears that some good has come from the event. One local construction company told us that this is the busiest they have ever been in decades, with the tsunami providing at least another five or six years of contracts with work well expected to be busy for the next decade. We have also been able to quadruple our work force. "One of our surveyors was a boatman four years ago and now he can apply his newly learned trades in the future. He even learned trigonometry last week..."
Although work still continues, much of the world are still providing aid to needy sections of the world showing that at least one time a year, people can still actually care about the needy on the boxset. What a brilliant planet this is where we can lose everything but still pick up the pieces with a little help from our friends and even people we don't know and wouldn't even be able to understand. Amen.