UnNews:Mass flooding reported all across America
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Mass flooding reported all across America
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, January 24, 2017, 10:06:UTC)(
21 September 2011
The US Geological Survey has also reported massive earthquakes, likely caused by people stomping their feet in frustration.
The Internet is down. We've just learned that The Internet, long a bastion of pornography, has broken. The Internet experts and The Internet trolls alike both seem to think there was simply too much complaining on Facebook. FEMA head Craig Fugate isn't sure when The Internet will be fixed, as they've never had to deal with this before.
FEMA head Craig Fugate just held a press conference. Fugate said, "To be succinctly honest, we've never had to deal with this before, or even a disaster of this proportion. Sure, Katrina was pretty bad, but not this bad... That's not to say that we even dealt with Katrina, either, I'm just saying... This is really, really bad."
With the Internet broken, millions of perverts now have nothing to do, which could lead to more rioting.