UnNews:Manuel to be Obama’s White House Chief of Staff
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Manuel to be Obama’s White House Chief of Staff
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, July 2, 2016, 09:33:UTC)(
10 November 2008
Washington, DC: President-Elect Barack Obama announced yesterday that Manuel from Barcelona has accepted his offer to join the White House as Chief of Staff.
|“||A new era has come, an era in which even illegal immigrants can occupy important positions in places previously wrongfully denied to them. I have full faith in Manuel's abilities, and a stuffed møøse head to beat him up with.||”|
- – President-Elect Obama
Manuel, 48, has spent the last 30 years working as a punching bag in Britain's most infamous hotel, Fawlty Towers. Basil Fawlty, the hotel owner, reluctantly accepted his employee's resignation: "I say, I'm glad I finally got rid of that waste of space. Come on, pack your bags and get out."
Air Force One was dispatched to England to transport the new Chief of Staff, but Manuel insisted on traveling by sea, inside a sealed container. His reason, "Old ways are best, señor," has stirred unrest among the Democrat circles. He is expected to arrive just in time for Obama's Inauguration Day.
In the meantime, news of Manuel's appointment as White House Chief of Staff, have brought forward rumors that he is in fact, the distant cousin of a certain "Pablo from San Francisco", who has been implicated in a rumored sexual incident with the President-Elect.
Pablo could not be reached for comment.