UnNews:Man wakes up
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17 January 2009
The House, Somewhere. The man who lives in the house amazed onlookers today when, at about the time the sun came up, he woke up.
This life-changing event officially marked the end of a very boring period of time when it was dark and the man was asleep and there was nothing to do. It was horrible. I didn't think it was ever going to end.
But it did!!!!!
The man got out of bed and stood up, and I just about had a heart attack from excitement. I was so excited, I knocked him over! He didn't seem very happy about that, but I just couldn't contain myself. Nothing this exciting has ever happened before.
Actually, now that I think about it really hard, it's possible that he's woken up once or twice before. I think. I'm not totally sure.
Then I brought him a ball, and he kicked it down the stairs!! I never would have expected that in a million years. Chasing that ball was the single most exciting experience of my life!!! When I got back up the stairs, I was so excited, I knocked him over! He didn't seem very happy about that, but I just couldn't contain myself. Nothing this exciting has ever happened before.
Actually, now that I think about it really hard, it's possible that something excited me just a few minutes earlier, but for the life of me, I can't remember what it was.
Then he went into the kitchen, and opened the pantry where the food is!!! It was amazing. I was so excited, I knocked him over! How can you blame me? Literally nothing had ever happened before that moment that interested me at all.
Overall, it was a very... wait... what was I talking about? Ugh. I'm bored. Nothing interesting ever happens around here.
OH MY GOD! THE MAN IS WALKING TOWARD THE BACK DOOR!
Sources
What? Huh?
