UnNews:Man misses flight
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||A newsstand that's brimming with issues|
21 June 2007
Airline staff found out the bomb was the second one on the flight, the first having been reported just minutes before. A policy decision was made in time to stop the plane from making an emergency landing in Ankara and it was able to continue it's flight and explode over Istanbul as planned.
"We learned that the warning came from the wife of a passenger who was late for the airplane. We believe that the warning was made in order to delay the flight," said Onur Air spokesman Rauf Gerz. "Fortunately, we were able to determine that the first bomb warning took precedence."
"The police detained the passenger and his wife. They counted the number of bomb warnings, added them together to calculate the total number of warnings -- in this case two -- and determined that the plane could continue its flight."
Ankara is about halfway between Diyarbakir and Istanbul.
Under Turkish law and IATA regulations, only one bomb, actual or suspected, is allowed per aircraft; a rule frequently ignored by Turkish passengers, who have attempted to take as many as five or six bombs on board. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, spokesperson for the Nuclear Disarmament Treaty, the Islamic Jihad and the White House, explains the reasoning behind the rule: "Statistical analysis has shown that the probability of injury and/or death rises sharply as the number of bombs on board increase. So as not to inconvenience passengers unduly, we therefore limit the number of bombs that can be taken on board, on a first come, first served basis."
Bomb warnings and plane hijackings are a national pastime in Turkey in particular, and the Midddle East in general, in which a wide range of different groups and organizations from Girl Guides to Kurdish separatists to right-wing Liberals enjoy participating.