UnNews:Man fights for life after eating entire McDinner
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Man fights for life after eating entire McDinner
Democracy Dies with Dignity
Wednesday, March 21, 2018, 13:36:UTC)(
23 November 2014
NEW YORK CITY -- A man in Queens is fighting for his life after eating an entire McDonald's Mickey D's Dinner Box by himself. Jonathan Brown, 18, consumed an entire Dinner Box by himself, which was intended to feed a family of four. The box contains two Big Macs, two cheeseburgers, four small fries, 10 piece Chicken McNugget, and four beverages at an economical price. However, Brown decided to eat the entire contents of the box by himself, resulting in over 4,000 calories and 200 grams of fat entering in his body. Not realizing that this was not a single portion, he kept on eating it until his plate was clean, and then licked the plate. This then led to Brown to have chest pains soon after leaving the restaurant. Brown, concerned, called emergency services and was rushed into the ambulance as they stated he was having a heart attack as a result of eating the dinner box.
Brown is currently being treated in the hospital in order to attempt to remedy the stress on his heart, and also the dehydration from the extreme sodium. Doctors warn that Brown may be unable to recover from his condition, and that the Dinner Box may be the fatal blow for Brown, who is known to be a habitual consumer of fast food. Brown's father said that "Well, I know that the little box of death is what did it. We never would have let him do that. We went out to eat at Applebee's and other healthier restaurants you actually sat in and ate a real meal. I really hope that my son doesn't drop dead from this." Brown's father and others have visited Brown, who is currently being fed a detox diet solely consisting of tofu and water to attempt to clean the excessive fats, sugars, and salts from his system. One doctor said that "It's not looking too well. I'm not really sure what's going on here, but it looks like he ate a lot of crap. Maybe we can help him, maybe we can't. If we can't we may need to call a real doctor." Brown's parents have visited him, and noted that he was confined to his bed, and is watching television and being exposed to approximately 3 advertisements for the Dinner Box per day, which has them concerned he may attempt to order another one at the McDonald's right next to the hospital.
Some in the media have noted a parallel to McDonald's former offering: the super size option, which according to McDonald's did not end because of Morgan Spurlock's Super Size Me. They claim the Dinner Box is an absolute nightmare, and people should never consume that much food. However, McDonald's CEO Donald Thompson fired back mentioning that this meal was meant to feed a family of four, not one immature teenager who decided it was a good idea to eat the whole box. Nonetheless, unlike the Super Size option, which was undeniably intended for one person, McDonald's is not dropping the Dinner Box option. They did express that they were sorry about what happened to Brown, and offered Brown's family a $50 gift card to McDonald's.
- Ryan Sit "Man fighting for life after being run over at McDonald's drive-thru in Queens". New York Daily News, November 22, 2014