UnNews:Man faces legal action after winking without permission
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|Fire Danger: CATASTROPHIC (delete)
Man faces legal action after winking without permission
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Sunday, May 1, 2016, 10:26:UTC)(
12 December 2008
A Russian businessman has threatened Joe Average, a local resident, with legal action, following his decision to wink without obtaining an appropriate license.
Oleg Teterin, the businessman involved, recently obtained the license from the Russian federal patent agency to trademark winking, and seek compensation if the action ever takes place without a license obtained from Teterin.
This incident marks the first time that legal action due to winking has been a serious possibility.
Average vehemently defended his actions. "I cannot believe I do not have the right to wink anymore," he said. "And anyway, I was winking long before Teterin so I want the trademark."
Representing Average is the AFWR (Association for Winkers Rights), who's CEO told the BBC that this action was unfair, before saying that only "retards" will pay for the license to wink. UnNews is currently unable to confirm that this viewpoint is correct.
Teterin, however, stated that Average could have easily avoided legal action. "Legal use will be possible after buying an annual licence from us," he said, speaking to the Kommersant newspaper. "It doesn't cost that much - only a few million dollars."