UnNews:Man Attempts to Marry Cardboard Cut out of Obama
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Man Attempts to Marry Cardboard Cut out of Obama
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, September 29, 2016, 18:49:UTC)(
28 July 2008
LOVING, Texas - Today, a man by the name of Billy Ray presented his case before a judge in the Loving, Texas, Courthouse/Fire station/Police station/Wal-Mart as to why he should be allowed to marry a cardboard likeness of Senator Barack Obama, citing that he wanted some change to believe in. With a population of only 67 the city was shaken by the case.
Bobbie Sue, 58, could not believe that, "Gay people had made it all the way to the town of Loving", and Bertha the prison guard stated, "I have had it up to my eyeballs with all this interracial marriage. Next thing you know we are going to be up to our elbows in little mixed babies."
The town very literally shut down for the hearing, of course on a normal day the afternoon activities would include cow tipping and burying Cadillacs nose-down in the sand. The Honorable Judge Joe Earl decided to rule in favor of Billy Ray since "he a'int marrin' a man... Texas don't got no laws against marrying somethin' that looks like a man... I mean, last week Bobbie Sue got married to Jerry Lee, and she look like a man..." A large party ensued following the hearing.
The wedding for Cardboard Obama and Billy Ray is expected for later this week.
- Ronald Sanders "Man marries cardboard; doesn't get burned at the stake". ABC News, July 28, 2008
- Horatio Medvenov "Cardboard marriage: Should it be legal?". The Big Russian Newspaper Of American News,
- Pip Dimpkin "Cardboard boxes and their influence on popular culture". The Inanimate Object Journal, July 28, 2008