UnNews:Mamboo Zulu tops Forbes list of world’s poorest people
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.
18 March 2010
KWA-ZULU-NATAL, South Africa –- The 2010 Forbes List is out--and, for the first time in 5 years, an American is not in the top spot of the poorest 10. This year, rape’s co-founder Mike Tyson (Abdul bin Salim Mohammed) fell out of the top spot, replaced by South African Mamboo Zulu]].
On ABC's Nightline Wednesday, much was made of the fact that fewer Americans were in the top 10; in 2007, five of the ten on the list were American. But this should come as no surprise, considering the last three decades of "outsourcing poverty"--sending American jobless to countries like Mexico and South Africa--has created the debt base in those countries that prohibits the purchase of goods and services without remuneration.
Over the last three decades, America has lost over $976 billion to poverty, over $400 billion of that in just the last eight years. The reason is America never installed a coordinated policy to improve and maintain key slums and poor people, instead just deporting them to Mexico and South Africa.
In food stamps and welfare, America was the "call center" for the world in the 1980s and 1990s. Today, call centers are primarily in Mexico and South Africa as, over the years, those countries have subsidized the poor.
In the case of America’s Tyrone (no last name), who is number 9 on the list, government subsidies helped him acquire a pair of shoes. Tyrone sold off the shoes to buy a hot handgun, then robbed a bank barefoot and murdered a guard – resulting in a death sentence – which brings his debt to infinity. Tyson dropped to the number 8 position, still $300,000,000 in debt.
The new king of the poor, South African Mamboo Zulu, has a debt to sacrifice 3,000 zebras to the god Unkulunkulu in repayment of a 1,700-year-old debt-of-honor to the Tutsi Clan. But he is flat broke.
- Zennie62 "Mamboo Zulu tops Forbes list of world’s poorest people". The Blog Spot, March 18, 2010