UnNews:Make-up addict predicts husband will turn into Quasimodo
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.
28 September 2008
“I'm fed up that I have to try so hard to make myself look the way I do when all my husband has to do is simply get out of bed," she said on a US talk show. "I've got to get up at three am and really work on my face. But he doesn't have to do that!"
"I want to wake up next to Quasimodo," she then declared. “Everyone goes on and on: 'Your husband is sooo good looking!’ They never compliment me. People are already calling us Beauty And The Beast and not in a good way. Well, I'm sick of it!"
She denied that she was jealous, but added that she had been using her celebrity contacts to track down a disreputable plastic surgeon. "I want my husband to have a nose job. But I want him to have Karl Malden's nose."