UnNews:Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 01:00, January 2, 2014 by SPIKE (talk | contribs)

Jump to: navigation, search
Template:Main page header
LEICESTER England, -- Just three years after the discovery of King Richard III under a car park, thousands of car park managers are discovering British Kings under their car parks.

After the Royal Family paid 520 years' backlog of parking fines, Philippa Langley has been inundated with calls from car park owners, claiming to also have Kings buried under their car parks. Full story»

Letterman in dumpster
UnNews Logo Potato1LATE-NIGHT TV
NEW YORK CITY -- Late Show host David Letterman was thrown out just hours after the legendary show's final episode.

CBS Vice President of Replacements Josh Earnest said, "Out with the old, in with the new. Dave fell asleep in the chair behind what used to be his desk. You snooze, you lose." Full story»

Athena and flag
UnNews Logo Potato1SOAP OPERAS
ATHENS, Greece -- Greece will not repay its IMF debt in June unless a deal is struck to let Greece repay part of the old loans with a dollop of new loans, which Greece will promise to repay.

"Things have matured for a deal of logic. This is the bet," Voutsis said, showing that, tragically, even the good translator has been sacked due to the financial crisis. Full story»

IRVING, Texas -- The National Council of the Boy Scouts has unveiled new policies banning anything to do with guns and other weapons including sickles and Popsicles.

A Cub Scout leader in Sunnyvale, California who has scolded both members of her den about "threatening" things like Hulk Hogan lunchpails hopes the new policy boosts membership, but opinion is running against her. Full story»

LONDON, Oceania -- Home Secretary Teresa May has tasked Ofcom with vetting all media, including television and radio, before it releases material to the public.

The Home Secretary said in her announcement: "Ofcom is now known as the Ministry Of Information and will vet all media before it is released to the public." Full story»

Latest headlines

Write a new UnNews story:±

UnNews needs you! If you've got an idea for an article...then sod off and type it into Minitrue. But if you can actually write a complete story, then enter the headline in the box below, then click the button to create your own UnNews article!

Read Me FirstFrom the ChiefStyle GuideNewsroom

Minitrue ± What's This?

Recent UnNews Audio ± Podcast | Archive.

About UnNews
Created by the Uncyclomedia Foundation

UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible. Full story»

Current event marker

This day in 2013

TV Highlights May 25

Panorama Investigates: Child Abduction Documentary
Channel 4 7:30 PM
One of the reporters goes undercover disguised as a guy being followed around by a camera man, sound man and director as he walks he speaks in a quiet voice into the microphone, to check out how a large, multinational company is supporting child abduction in an African country.

Countryfile Conservative style Entertainment
BBC 2 6:30 PM GMT
This week Matt and Sue are walking through the fields of some county up North no one has ever heard of in search of Gordon Brown's hiding place while John will be working out why the population in that area is rapidly decreasing due to a lack of jobs.

Doctor Who: The Return of the Plot from last week Sci-Fi
BBC 1 7:45 PM
Doctor Who goes in searc of some Time Lord money so that he can afford to pay for new writers to write different scripts for each episode. He goes hyperactive and can only display one emotion: insanity. His new assistant who is just there for her looks mentions "I wish David Tennant still played the Doctor" numerous times when confronted in not-very-scary situations.

Personal tools