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BRUSSELS, Belgium -- Brussels ministers have vowed not to bow down to terrorism, by bowing down before terrorism has a chance to occur.

The Schaarbeek mayor was perplexed why IS would want to come to a country rooted in long-standing ethnic, linguistic and socio-economic tensions. And the weather is crap. Full story»

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Obama has engaged in a time-honored holiday ritual, sneaking out 2000 new regulations on the eve of the American Thanksgiving, including 144 that will take $100 million or more to comply with. Happily, any resulting malaise will still be Bush's fault.

Separately, Walt Disney Corporation has used the same lull in the national attention span to announce that ESPN should reach zero viewers within 13 years. Full story»

ZURICH, Switzerland -- The world's biggest international sporting organisations have agreed to combine all their toxic scandals and face the music together.

In a vote held at a secret location, those board members of FIFA and IAAF not either under a charge or in jail said they had 'an outline deal' to present to the press. Full story»

Obama at ASEAN
KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia -- Ten southeast Asian leaders declared the area a Community that will decide the allowed flavors for potato chips and might confront China about its current work paving the South China Sea.

Obama sensed that the new Community needed a Community Activist, and warned the leaders about income inequality, as his own $400,000 far exceeds the pay of the people who just shot up Paris. Full story»

PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania -- Two months ago, Joey and Kristen Masciantonio say they experienced a miracle when Pope Francis kissed their one-year-old daughter, Gianna. She has a rare, inoperable brain tumor, but recent scans show barely any sign of it.

"This must be the cause," says father Joey. "We've done nothing else that would account for it — except the magnetic bracelets and the all-banana diet." Full story»

LONDON -- Prime Minister David Cameron will get a new plane to fight terrorism, an RAF Voyager A330 air-to-air refueling aircraft, retrofitted with soft-furnishings from Barker and Stonehouse and soaps by Molton Brown.

Jeremy Corbyn asked the PM about the number of “safe seats” available on the aircraft for the shadow cabinet, while Nicola Sturgeon warned that not having enough tartan in the interior could be a trigger for another referendum. Full story»

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UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible. Full story»

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TV Highlights November 28

The Real Scottish Referendum Documentary
BBC 1 7:00 PM GMT
The BBC reveals that only 1% of the population support Alex Salmon in the Scottish referendum. (Despite the fact that the BBC is a public service the government has in no way biased the making of this documentary).

Panorama Investigates:Does Scotland actually Influence Great Britain? Documentary
Channel 4 8:00 PM GMT
A Channel 4 reporter goes undercover disguised in a kilt to interview Scottish people and force them to tell C4 that they are unemployed.

Argentine Invasion of Scotland Plans Revealed Documentary
Channel 5 5:30 PM GMT
Channel 5 gets a new insite into the real Argentine motives as it covers an unemployed ex-Admiral of the Fleet who wants a war so that he can have an excuse to get his job back as he campaigns to prove that Argentina is still a threat to the nation.

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