UnNews:Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 02:38, August 16, 2012 by GlobalTourniquet (talk | contribs)

Jump to: navigation, search
Template:Main page header
Template:Lead articles 2 Latest headlines
Write-unnews

Write a new UnNews story:±

UnNews needs you! If you've got an idea for an article...then sod off and type it into Minitrue. But if you can actually write a complete story, then enter the headline in the box below, then click the button to create your own UnNews article!

Read Me FirstFrom the ChiefStyle GuideNewsroom


EyeofOMGITSLOOKINGATME
Minitrue ± What's This?
Your birthday this week: Gemini! You were born with a prehensile tail, but your parents never told you about it, you little freak. Your dual nature can lower your chances of passing that drivers test. Believing that Dracula is real will get you far in life. Vocations of Geminis include seal and otter repair, hated business executive, competitive eater, lambaster and prophet.

Famous Geminis include Regis Philbin , Henry VIII, Pol Pot, Curious George, Ricardo Montalban, Simon and Garfunkel, Jay-Z (band), Caesar Augustus, Bilbo Baggins and Lao-Tze.

  • Gemini (May 20 - June 21) - This week is a good time to start that smuggling business you've been thinking about. Use the money you've been squirreling away in lieu of paying taxes.
  • Cancer (June 22 - July 22) - Cancel any plans for moving to Idaho or being abducted by aliens. Your blood may turn green, in which case, get to a hospital quickly.

About UnNews
Created by the Uncyclomedia Foundation

UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible. Full story»

Current event marker

This day in 2014

TV Highlights May 23


Quinn the Quantum Guy Children
Nick Jr. 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT
If you read this, you cannot watch the show. If you watch the show, you cannot have read this.

Product Testing Lab Documentary
Discovery. 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT
Minute examination of how products are tested. This week: Preparation-H.

Repeat of 1960s American Drama Drama
CBS Action. 5:00 PM GMT
This week Captain Kirk meets Walker Texas Ranger in NCIS for the showdown of a lifetime.

Personal tools
projects