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Thursday, September 18, 2014, 05:04 (UTC)
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UnFunnies for September 18
Mo23

Jesus Christ is outclassed by the Prophet Mohammed in the super heavyweight prophet division.


Your birthday this week: Gemini! You were born with a prehensile tail, but your parents never told you about it, you little freak. Your dual nature can lower your chances of passing that drivers test. Believing that Dracula is real will get you far in life. Vocations of Geminis include seal and otter repair, hated business executive, competitive eater, lambaster and prophet.

Famous Geminis include Regis Philbin , Henry VIII, Pol Pot, Curious George, Ricardo Montalban, Simon and Garfunkel, Jay-Z (band), Caesar Augustus, Bilbo Baggins and Lao-Tze.

  • Gemini (May 20 - June 21) - This week is a good time to start that smuggling business you've been thinking about. Use the money you've been squirreling away in lieu of paying taxes.
  • Cancer (June 22 - July 22) - Cancel any plans for moving to Idaho or being abducted by aliens. Your blood may turn green, in which case, get to a hospital quickly.

TV Highlights September 18


Panorama Investigates: Child Abduction Documentary
Channel 4 7:30 PM
One of the reporters goes undercover disguised as a guy being followed around by a camera man, sound man and director as he walks he speaks in a quiet voice into the microphone, to check out how a large, multinational company is supporting child abduction in an African country.

Countryfile Conservative style Entertainment
BBC 2 6:30 PM GMT
This week Matt and Sue are walking through the fields of some county up North no one has ever heard of in search of Gordon Brown's hiding place while John will be working out why the population in that area is rapidly decreasing due to a lack of jobs.

Doctor Who: The Return of the Plot from last week Sci-Fi
BBC 1 7:45 PM
Doctor Who goes in searc of some Time Lord money so that he can afford to pay for new writers to write different scripts for each episode. He goes hyperactive and can only display one emotion: insanity. His new assistant who is just there for her looks mentions "I wish David Tennant still played the Doctor" numerous times when confronted in not-very-scary situations.

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