UnNews:Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
(Replace {ThisWeeksHoroscopes} (last edited by Zim_ulator this summer) with {RecentUnNewsAudio} (current at the moment))
({Lead articles 2} was renamed to {Lead articles})
Line 9: Line 9:
 
!colspan="3"|
 
!colspan="3"|
 
|-
 
|-
|colspan="2" class="lead_big upper_lead" style="vertical-align:top;width:66%;"|{{Lead articles 2}}
+
|colspan="2" class="lead_big upper_lead" style="vertical-align:top;width:66%;"|{{Lead articles}}
 
|class="latest_news" id="MainPage_latest_news" valign="top"|{{Main headlines}}
 
|class="latest_news" id="MainPage_latest_news" valign="top"|{{Main headlines}}
 
|-
 
|-

Revision as of 01:00, January 2, 2014

Welcome to UnNews
UnFair and UnBalanced
Sunday, December 21, 2014, 20:15 (UTC)
Hands Up
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- New riots have broken out in America's capital to protest African Americans being asked to reach items on the top shelf of the supermarket.

Protesters flooded onto the street here to make the point that no innocent black man should ever be asked to cooperate with another American based on superficial traits such as height. Full story»


Richard Pittenger
SALT LAKE CITY, Utah -- A man got a piece of his teenage years back when police returned a shotgun stolen from his truck in 1977.

The AP said Richard Pittenger's first reaction was to grouse that police should "return my youth rather than just the gun." Police state that that would require a more detailed written request, a criminal background check, and a 30-day wait to see if anyone else claimed his youth. Full story»

CometRosetta
COMET 67P -- Scientists at the European Space Agency (ESA) have been left red-faced after taking three photos of the comet 67P with different filters, only to find out that the seemingly grey comet was actually grey.

ESA spokesperson Ariane Espace said, "these photos really changed the way we look at comets," rather more than they changed the way comets look. Full story»


Plumber's truck
THE CALIPHATE -- Popular Texas plumber Mark Oberholtzer has cleverly refitted his pick-up truck to hold an anti-aircraft gun rather than the usual ladders, PVC pipes, and perhaps a plunger and is in the service of the radical Paula al-Deen Front on the front lines of Syria.

A London newspaper doubted the photos are authentic, publishing photos of other vehicles of the same color shooting at the same thing from the same small hill. But Sony said the enemies of the West are not even aware that photographs can be "shooped." Full story»

King Dollar
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The U.S. economy is being battered by unexpectedly falling oil prices, which may thwart a sixth straight "Summer of Recovery" or even delay the closing of Gitmo.

Ford, frantically redesigning the F-150 truck without steel, called itself a victim, as few will pay extra for a cardboard truck when gas is so cheap. But Ford's lobbyists could not seek a repeal of federal fuel-efficiency rules, as they were all busy demanding new laws against Tesla selling cars without dealerships. Full story»

Latest news Feed-icon Twitter logo initial F icon Reload page
Write-unnews

Write a new UnNews story:±

UnNews needs you! If you've got an idea for an article...then sod off and type it into Minitrue. But if you can actually write a complete story, then enter the headline in the box below, then click the button to create your own UnNews article!

Read Me FirstFrom the ChiefStyle GuideNewsroom


EyeofOMGITSLOOKINGATME
Minitrue ± What's This?
Radiomicrophone

Recent UnNews Audio ± Podcast | Archive.


About UnNews
Created by the Uncyclomedia Foundation

UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible. Full story»

Current event marker

This day in 2013

TV Highlights December 21


Panorama Investigates: Child Abduction Documentary
Channel 4 7:30 PM
One of the reporters goes undercover disguised as a guy being followed around by a camera man, sound man and director as he walks he speaks in a quiet voice into the microphone, to check out how a large, multinational company is supporting child abduction in an African country.

Countryfile Conservative style Entertainment
BBC 2 6:30 PM GMT
This week Matt and Sue are walking through the fields of some county up North no one has ever heard of in search of Gordon Brown's hiding place while John will be working out why the population in that area is rapidly decreasing due to a lack of jobs.

Doctor Who: The Return of the Plot from last week Sci-Fi
BBC 1 7:45 PM
Doctor Who goes in searc of some Time Lord money so that he can afford to pay for new writers to write different scripts for each episode. He goes hyperactive and can only display one emotion: insanity. His new assistant who is just there for her looks mentions "I wish David Tennant still played the Doctor" numerous times when confronted in not-very-scary situations.

Personal tools
projects