UnNews:Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
(Replace {ThisWeeksHoroscopes} (last edited by Zim_ulator this summer) with {RecentUnNewsAudio} (current at the moment))
({Lead articles 2} was renamed to {Lead articles})
Line 9: Line 9:
 
!colspan="3"|
 
!colspan="3"|
 
|-
 
|-
|colspan="2" class="lead_big upper_lead" style="vertical-align:top;width:66%;"|{{Lead articles 2}}
+
|colspan="2" class="lead_big upper_lead" style="vertical-align:top;width:66%;"|{{Lead articles}}
 
|class="latest_news" id="MainPage_latest_news" valign="top"|{{Main headlines}}
 
|class="latest_news" id="MainPage_latest_news" valign="top"|{{Main headlines}}
 
|-
 
|-

Revision as of 01:00, January 2, 2014

Template:Main page header
SolarImpulseii
UnNews Logo Potato1SUSTAINABILITY
PHOENIX, Arizona -- As the solar-powerd airplane Solar Impulse 2 landed in Phoenix and made preparations for the leg to New York, pilot Bertrand Piccard told eco-fans the project was “very groovy”.

The solar airplane has 17,248 solar cells and 14 mini-greenhouse cloches across the wing, powering four lithium batteries, one pilot and a 1967 Steepletone SRP1R-11 3-speed record player. Full story»

800px-Corn Field
UnNews Logo Potato1UNSUSTAINABILITY
SOUTH BEND, Indiana -- The 2016 U.S. Presidential election season is settled, except for the country's unique six-month period for its citizens to get used to it.

Ted Cruz concluded that, "if I can't make it there, I can't make it anywhere," to quote a famous song about New York Values. John Kasich wound up his campaign after soul-searching and scarfing down pancakes. On the Democratic side, Bernie Sanders won again in Indiana, which means that he loses the nomination. Full story»


Trump Sieg Heil
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The rest of the world was horrified as U.S. Presidential candidate Donald Trump "pivoted" from churl to statesman, not just suddenly using a teleprompter but making the novel claim that American foreign policy should pursue America's interests.

Trump has said he intends to act more "presidential" and provide a "disciplined foreign policy," which would mean he would not call foreign adversaries names as he has called domestic ones. Full story»

AnBot
CHONGQING, China -- The new Chinese riot-control robot, known as “AnBot,” has robbed a garage and gone on the run, only hours after being presented to the public at the Chongqing Hi-Tech Fair.

Police have suspended the Duracell Desperado from the force and advised the public that, although there is nothing to worry about, they should "shelter in place" until further notice. Full story»


Carly Fiorina
SEATTLE, Washington -- Helpful University of Washington advice on what qualities are appreciated in cheerleaders has unleashed a tempest of protest.

The message that a cheerleader should look like a ... well .. cheerleader was offensive to Cicero Buttweasel, a leading intellectual light on another campus some 2000 miles away. Full story»

Couch-potatoes-006
LONDON, United Kingdom -- British Astronaut Tim Peake has inspired millions of UK sports fans to run the London Marathon from their living room sofas.

As Mr Peake is completing the 26.2 mile course while strapped to a treadmill, millions of Britons will join him, aiming for a minimum time of three hours of uninterrupted sofa-time. Full story»

Latest headlines
Write-unnews

Write a new UnNews story:±

UnNews needs you! If you've got an idea for an article...then sod off and type it into Minitrue. But if you can actually write a complete story, then enter the headline in the box below, then click the button to create your own UnNews article!

Read Me FirstFrom the ChiefStyle GuideNewsroom


EyeofOMGITSLOOKINGATME
Minitrue ± What's This?
Radiomicrophone

Recent UnNews Audio ± Podcast | Archive.


About UnNews
Created by the Uncyclomedia Foundation

UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible. Full story»

Current event marker

Today...only, two years ago

TV Highlights May 6


Jesus Slaps the Shit Outta _____. Fantasy
EWTN 6:00 PM EDT/5:00 CDT
This week's guests: American Catholic Bishops.

Spanish Inquisition Game
HIST 6:00 PM EDT/5:00 CDT
Betcha weren't expecting this.

Test Patterns Art history
CBS 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT
In an effort to boost ratings, the network replaces one of its several crime dramas with an hour long slide show of test cards used throughout TV history.

Personal tools
projects