UnNews:Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
(Replace {ThisWeeksHoroscopes} (last edited by Zim_ulator this summer) with {RecentUnNewsAudio} (current at the moment))
({Lead articles 2} was renamed to {Lead articles})
Line 9: Line 9:
 
!colspan="3"|
 
!colspan="3"|
 
|-
 
|-
|colspan="2" class="lead_big upper_lead" style="vertical-align:top;width:66%;"|{{Lead articles 2}}
+
|colspan="2" class="lead_big upper_lead" style="vertical-align:top;width:66%;"|{{Lead articles}}
 
|class="latest_news" id="MainPage_latest_news" valign="top"|{{Main headlines}}
 
|class="latest_news" id="MainPage_latest_news" valign="top"|{{Main headlines}}
 
|-
 
|-

Revision as of 01:00, January 2, 2014

Template:Main page header
EdScheming
NEWCASTLE -- Labour have delayed the election of their leadership due to an absence of a key member of staff — and a signal failure at Clapham Junction. Jeremy Corbyn has taken an unexpected trip to Israel to serve as self-declared common-sense peace envoy to the World.

The Party will hold off the leadership election campaign until the peace negotiations have ended, or until after Corbyn has died (even of natural causes, if it takes that). Full story»


Panda eats bamboo
BEIJING, China -- Famed for its voracious diet of bamboo and fighting evil snow leopards, the precious giant panda now carries the title of another one of Mother Nature's little birth defects.

"It eats what it's not supposed to," says a local hipster, "because — irony." Full story»

Megyn Kelly
UnNews Logo Potato1BIMBO ERUPTION
NEW YORK CITY -- Zillionaire casino magnate Donald Trump has tweeted that his Fox News adversary, info-babe Megyn Kelly, is a "bimbo."

In its ongoing goal of giving newspeople equal treatment with newsmakers, UnNews interviewed Ms. Kelly to give her the chance to refute the credible allegation that she is mere eye-candy for horny couch potatoes. Full story»


Hamburger
HAMBURGER UNIVERSITY, Illinois -- Burger King has proposed to McDonald's to collaborate for one day.

Burger King made the appeal by having its public-relations firm tweet it out to the entire world, just in case McDonald's public-relations firm were watching. Americans could support a worthy cause by simply overeating, while two corporate titans could burnish their reputations without doing anything real. Full story»

ChilcotInquiryHole
CAMBRIDGE, UK -- Professor Stephen Hawking and colleagues say the information on the Iraq War needed to complete the Chilcot Inquiry is located within black holes at the centre of the galaxy.

David Cameron expressed his frustration at the lack of progress towards warp drive technology that would let officials reach the information in the black holes. Full story»

Latest headlines
Write-unnews

Write a new UnNews story:±

UnNews needs you! If you've got an idea for an article...then sod off and type it into Minitrue. But if you can actually write a complete story, then enter the headline in the box below, then click the button to create your own UnNews article!

Read Me FirstFrom the ChiefStyle GuideNewsroom


EyeofOMGITSLOOKINGATME
Minitrue ± What's This?
Radiomicrophone

Recent UnNews Audio ± Podcast | Archive.


About UnNews
Created by the Uncyclomedia Foundation

UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible. Full story»

Current event marker

This day in 2013

TV Highlights August 31


Jesus Slaps the Shit Outta _____. Fantasy
EWTN 6:00 PM EDT/5:00 CDT
This week's guests: American Catholic Bishops.

Spanish Inquisition Game
HIST 6:00 PM EDT/5:00 CDT
Betcha weren't expecting this.

Test Patterns Art history
CBS 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT
In an effort to boost ratings, the network replaces one of its several crime dramas with an hour long slide show of test cards used throughout TV history.

Personal tools
projects