UnNews:Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
(I like this idea a lot, because I like one-liners (horoscopes, anyone?) and UnFunnies is played out (maybe?), and if it's good enough for The Onion... eh, revert me if not.)
(Delete {Sister projects} (for links to other national Uncyclopedias, see website main page))
 
(3 intermediate revisions by one user not shown)
Line 9: Line 9:
 
!colspan="3"|
 
!colspan="3"|
 
|-
 
|-
|colspan="2" class="lead_big upper_lead" style="vertical-align:top;width:66%;"|{{Lead articles 2}}
+
|colspan="2" class="lead_big upper_lead" style="vertical-align:top;width:66%;"|{{Lead articles}}
 
|class="latest_news" id="MainPage_latest_news" valign="top"|{{Main headlines}}
 
|class="latest_news" id="MainPage_latest_news" valign="top"|{{Main headlines}}
 
|-
 
|-
Line 16: Line 16:
 
|class="history" id="writeAnArticleCell" valign="top"|{{Main write}}
 
|class="history" id="writeAnArticleCell" valign="top"|{{Main write}}
 
|class="headlines" valign="top"|{{UnNews Other Headlines}}
 
|class="headlines" valign="top"|{{UnNews Other Headlines}}
|class="unnews_audio" valign="top"|{{ThisWeeksHoroscopes}}
+
|class="unnews_audio" valign="top"|{{RecentUnNewsAudio}}
 
|-
 
|-
 
|colspan="3" class="breaker"| <hr>
 
|colspan="3" class="breaker"| <hr>
 
|-
 
|-
|class="main_about" style="vertical-align:top;width:33%;"|{{Main about}} <!-- Going to replace with... something-->
+
|class="main_about" style="vertical-align:top;width:33%;"|{{Main about}}
 
|class="headlines" valign="top"|{{Main historical}}
 
|class="headlines" valign="top"|{{Main historical}}
 
|class="untoons" valign="top"|{{TVHighlights}}
 
|class="untoons" valign="top"|{{TVHighlights}}
|- <!-- Templates that can be rotated in/out above:
+
|-
Main historical, Main popular, Main interviews, Main original,
 
Main about, Main write, Main around, Main devel, Main local,
 
And of course, my Main man -->
 
 
|colspan="3"|
 
|colspan="3"|
 
{{Dynamic navigation noncentered
 
{{Dynamic navigation noncentered
Line 29: Line 29:
 
|TITLE=UnNews in other languages
 
|TITLE=UnNews in other languages
 
|CONTENT={{UnnewsLanguages}}
 
|CONTENT={{UnnewsLanguages}}
|SMALLCONTENT=
 
}}
 
|-
 
|colspan="3"|
 
{{Dynamic navigation noncentered
 
|BGCOLOR=#f9fcff
 
|TITLE=Sister projects
 
|CONTENT={{Sisterprojects}}
 
 
|SMALLCONTENT=
 
|SMALLCONTENT=
 
}}
 
}}

Latest revision as of 13:22, September 1, 2014

Welcome to UnNews
A newsstand that's brimming with issues
Thursday, October 2, 2014, 12:48 (UTC)
Obama laugh
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The U.S. Government said the next Presidential election will be the "Election of 2020," just as Microsoft skipped directly to "Windows 10" to "distance" its new software from Windows 8.

The Republican Party has solicited funds for years claiming Obama could cancel the "Election of 2016." But John Boehner opted not to put actual ideas in the way of the imminent Republican sweep in what is still known as the "Election of 2014." Full story»


GeorgeClooneyAmmal
VENICE, Italy -- George Clooney has finally come off the political fence and declared his intention to become the next American President, reinforcing his European Liberal credentials by marrying British-Lebanese legal eagle Ammal Alamuddin.

Clooney's decision has disappointed many women fans and the entire female population of Greece. Full story»

Flirt au Bord de la Mer
SACRAMENTO, California -- Governor Jerry Brown has signed SB967, a law that codifies exactly when a woman has given consent to have sex.

Sex will now be "opt-in," while spam email will remain "opt-out." The law states that silence does not constitute consent, but moving toward one's partner or nodding the head might. That is for a jury to decide. There will be a standard government form to sign, before disrobing or flirting, to minimize legal liability. Full story»


No Voice England
WESTMINSTER, England -- The success of last week's Scottish referendum in provoking more powers for the Scottish Parliament has produced a groundswell in England, which for 300 years has had no parliament except the national one.

An English Parliament could leave the British one to focus on important matters, while an English Queen could reign alongside the British one. Full story»

SalmondBeastie1
HOGWARTS, Scotland -- There was dancing down the cloisters as top magic school 'Hogwarts' confirmed they had beaten something even more horrible than Lord Voldemort: The Salmond Beastie.

Plans to move Hogwarts to a theme park near London will be 'reviewed' if another Beastie returns. Full story»

Latest news Feed-icon Twitter logo initial F icon Reload page
Write-unnews

Write a new UnNews story:±

UnNews needs you! If you've got an idea for an article...then sod off and type it into Minitrue. But if you can actually write a complete story, then enter the headline in the box below, then click the button to create your own UnNews article!

Read Me FirstFrom the ChiefStyle GuideNewsroom


EyeofOMGITSLOOKINGATME
Minitrue ± What's This?
Radiomicrophone

Recent UnNews Audio ± Podcast | Archive.


About UnNews
Created by the Uncyclomedia Foundation

UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible. Full story»

Current event marker

This day in 2013

TV Highlights October 2


Nerds Get Girls Fantasy
SciFi 4:00 PM EDT/3:00 CDT
High School Science geeks get laid. Really.

Right Behind You Paranoia
Discovery. 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT
They're RIGHT there . . no, DON'T look. Just be cool, man. Be cool.

Our Racist Cousin Comedy
FOX 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT
Lou has a row with a local grocer.

Personal tools
projects