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Crazed gunman takes hostages at HBO headquarters, demands network bring back The Sopranos

( listen) NEW YORK, New York — A man who railed against Home Box Office’s decision to cancel popular television series The Sopranos burst into the network’s New York headquarters Thursday with a bomb strapped to his chest and took four hostages at gunpoint before being shot to death, police said.
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Latest news reports: Refresh to see the latest news! If you find a broken, true, or rubbish article, fix it!

3 September

• 21-year-old black man successfully poses as newborn baby
• 47-Year-Old Area Man Cuts Off Ponytail
• Crazed gunman takes hostages at HBO headquarters, demands network bring back The Sopranos
• Florida evacuated when suspicious item found
• Space alien sasquatch invasion does not panic Canadian public
• Stephen Hawking created Universe

2 September

• Afghanistan: Why are the Taliban winning?
• Tony Blair book describes Gordon Brown as 'laborious'

1 September

• Cannabis may relieve chronic sobriety
• Hobo Flips Off Oscar Wilde
• Uncyclopedia declared the source of all greatness in the world.
• Unsung hero makes ultimate sacrifice

31 August

• Boston's SCVNGR, a web site with a difference
• Gazelle struggles to overcome gambolling addiction
• Himalayan glaciers melting deadline 'a stupid mistake'

30 August

• Manchester City to bid £120 million for David Cameron
• Rabbi calls for 'laughing fit' on Mahmoud Abbas
• Social Security found to have 310 million tits
• Zordon reveals that he was fired from Power Rangers for being a racist

29 August

• Moderate Taliban will only cut off one hand
• Paris Hilton caught with Francium
• Real American housewives make for TV gold
• Saturdays to be culled in government austerity drive
• Uzbek silk spun with child labor

28 August

• 'Falling in love' to be included in UK 'Legal High' ban
• Local firebug trips himself up
• Woman criticised for dumping cat in wrong coloured bin

27 August

• Religious activists complain over nudity in porn films

Archives: September 2010 | Older Indigestions

On This Day

September 3, 2009

• Happy 40th Birthday Internet!
• Renault to be investigated after Piquet, Jr. "finishes race"

September 3, 2008

• Cause of global warming discovered
• Despotic Tiger Slain in Failed Offensive on Sweden

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Space alien sasquatch invasion does not panic Canadian public

ALBERTA, Canada -- An alien sasquatch armada of attack spacecraft descended to Earth today in key isolated regions of Canada with the objective of abducting Earths population of sasquatches. Once rounded up, the terrestrial creatures are being whisked away to a distant planet in the Andromeda galaxy, where they will presumably be used as regular slaves, love slaves or food.
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Afghanistan: Why are the Taliban winning?

NAUGHT, Afghanistan – Although it is usually not this reporters policy to answer a stupid question, still, for the sake of making an honest living, we file this report on why the Taliban are winning, again. With additional troops committing suicide and going AWOL, and no new strategy in place, the U.S.-led Islamic Security Assistance Force (ISAF) is making its first and final half-hearted 'limp-dick' push to win the impossible-to-halt war in Afghanistan, which has been raging unabated for at least ten million years.
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Recent UnNews Audio

• 3 Sep: Florida evacuated when suspicious item found (3:11, 2.19 Mb, info)

• 3 Sep: Crazed gunman takes hostages at HBO headquarters, demands network bring back The Sopranos (2:38, 1.81 Mb, info)

• 31 Aug: Boston's SCVNGR--a web site with a difference (2:49, 1.94 Mb, info)

• 30 Aug: Social Security found to have 310 million tits (2:59, 2.05 Mb, info)

• 29 Aug: Uzbek silk spun with child labor (3:14, 2.22 Mb, info)

• 23 Aug: Iran inaugurates first unmanned bomber (2:40, 1.84 Mb, info)

• 22 Aug: Obama hosts Semite slumber-party (3:31, 2.42 Mb, info)

• 20 Aug: Obama Muslim rumors won't die (4:23, 3.01 Mb, info)

• 17 Aug: Wikia City named 14th best place to live (2:44, 1.88 Mb, info)

• 12 Aug: New apps support terrorist attacks (3:11, 2.91 Mb, info)

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UnFunnies for September 3

UnNews Sunday Magazine

This Week's Horoscopes NOW UPDATED FOR WEEK OF 8/30/10

Your birthday this week: Virgo! Virgos are retreating, blasphemous, neurotic hoseheads with a fondness for projectile vomiting at people they dislike. They are prone to fits of pique and serial animal rape, and are frequently caged for the delight of, and the derision by, the public. Keep hands and feel clear of the mouth when feeding. Some good career choices for a Virgo include Foley artist, Senator, sword maker, banana tallier, cantor, recluse and ferryman.

Famous Virgos born this week include Robert Goulet, L. Ron Hubbard, Ivana Trump, Ann Coulter, Bill O'Reilly, Courtney Love, Ozzy Osbourne, Dennis Moore, Rene Descartes, Sarah Palin and Rick Moranis.

• Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22) - Your house is haunted and you smell like pork and Romaine lettuce. This is a good week to goad your father into killing your whole family.