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Friday, November 16, 2018, 13:42:59 (UTC)

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McCainFuneral
Washington, USA -- he official Republican Party received a military send off following the death of its soul last month. The original 'GOP' which was started by Abraham Lincoln in the 1850s finally rolled over and died.

The party's leader President Donald Trump celebrated the demise by a round of golf. Other Republican bigwigs threw dirt and discarded bottles on the coffin as it was lowered into the ground. Full story»


Theresa May at podium
London, United Kingdom -- UK Prime Minister Theresa May has submitted what is called the Chequers Plan to the European Union as its Brexit plan. This was well in advance of the deadline, by about 20 minutes. After working on it for the better part of a Wednesday afternoon, the manifesto was hammered out with a group of politicians who were suitably hammered. French president Emmanuel Macron ROFLd upon reading it and apparently pulled several muscles in the process. German Chancellor Angela Merkel initially passed on the message to Interpol, thinking it to be an extortion threat. Full story»
Russian jet 05
BAIKONUR COSMODROME, Russia -- A Russian Soyuz rocket intended to carry two astronauts to the International Space Station has malfunctioned and crashed. The two astronauts aboard were reported able to eject their capsule and land. Russia and the US now blame each other, though Pres. Donald Trump promptly absolved Russia of any blame several hours later with a full pardon. He tweeted, "The blame now falls on Mexico, always jealous of countries with space pogroms Full story»

MelaniaTrumpPith01
Cairo, Egypt -- United States First Lady Melania Trump has agreed to appear in a new film titled Out of Shithole Africa in honour of her husband President Donald Trump.

The film will be a very loose remake of Meryl Streep's movie Out of Africa. Melania will play Meryl Streep whilst she hopes a Donald approved actor would be Robert Redford. Someone like James Woods or Kanye West. Full story»

TrumpPence1
WASHINGTON, USA -- United States Vice President Mike Pence willingly surrendered himself and his body to a thorough inspection by his boss. President Donald Trump said the interview had gone well but had left Pence chained up in the White House interrogation cave a little longer than planned.

"Mike's a good guy, I know that for sure now, " said Trump. " My team showed him the instruments of persuasion and he started telling me everything I already knew about his aversion to women who are not his wife." Full story»

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TV Highlights November 16


Quinn the Quantum Guy Children
Nick Jr. 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT
"Hide and Seek." If you cannot see your parents, do they still exist?

Finish Your Peas Drama
Lifetime. 9:00 PM EDT/8:00 CDT
Someday, little Tommy will be DEAD.
THEN they'll be sorry!

Future shock Science documentary
Science Channel 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT
Scientists gloat about technology takeover. Michio Kaku attempts to help us understand why we have to do what the robots are telling us to.