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July 5, 2009 16:15 UTC

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A disgruntled police force reacts to reports of fiber one shortages.]

Fiber One shortages spur massive nationwide riots

JACKSONVILLE, Florida - Yesterday, the Fiber One cereal corporation announced that nationwide shortages of their award winning fiber based cereal will affect over 200 million American citizens. Both local grocers and giant wholesale businesses will face fiber one famines. The reason for the shortages is unknown.
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Glastonbury Survival Tactics

GLASTONBURY, England Ahh, that's right people, it's time for the Glastonbury Festival, the one time in the year where the English government turns a blind eye to drug abuse, rape and kidnapping. However, where there is fun there are also dangers that the happy campers need to be aware of. How many times have you returned to your tent and found that your stash has been stolen by some degenerate pot headed hippy scum bastard?
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FEATURED STORY

McMahon's death on Monday night's Raw was seen by 7.3 million viewers.

McMahon fires Trump, dies

LOS ANGELES, California -- The wrestling world is mourning the tragic loss of WWE mogul and Johnny Carson sidekick Vince McMahon. At the end of his life Monday night, June 22, he was in a feud with Donald Trump over finances, home foreclosure, health problems, and the ownership of WWE's Monday Night Raw.
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UnFunnies for July 5


This Week's Horoscopes

NOW UPDATED FOR WEEK OF 6/29/09

  • Sagittarius (Nov. 23 - Dec. 21) - Your life is an open book. In a bonfire. Surrounded by jeering Christians who believe they are doing the Lord's work.

Stories being reviewed by Minitrue


On This Day

July 5, 2008

July 5, 2007

UnWeather Station

provided by UnNews
UnWeather operates automatically by going out and auto-reading the weather news itself, and its contents are free and open to abuse and buttrape (only by appointment, please).

Two Day Outlook

Image:Sun2.PNG

Sunday

a 57% chance of

sunshine

Image:Sun2.PNG

Sunday

a 57% chance of

sunshine

Image:Sun2.PNG

Sunday

a 57% chance of

sunshine


Suggested Recreation

While there is a 57% chance of sunshine
Sunday, we suggest outdoor sports.

Global Warming Indicator

Global Warming Indicator


International Posts

Special Weather Report:

Hell was reported to have frozen over last night by mistake, Iran lends Satan few billion gallons oil for heat.


UnWeather Station Forecast Stats

Statistically speaking, PeeWee Herman has a better chance of guessing the weather on Uranus.


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