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UnNews Logo Potato1DEFLATE-GATE
FOXBORO, Massachusetts -- Marquee NFL quarterback Tom Brady's four-game suspension has been overturned by a federal court.

Judge Richard Berman reviewed the entire evidence in the case, looked at the plaintiffs and defendants, then signed his verdict, which read in its entirety: "You are all morons! Now, get out of my courtroom!" Full story»

UnNews Logo Potato1NAVELISM
WIKIA CITY, California -- Administrators of Uncyclopedia claim that that website is unaffected by an extortion scam gripping Wikipedia in which editors create vanity pieces on famous corporations, then solicit reimbursement or "protection money."

Uncyclopedia claims that nobody cares what is on its pages, nor would pay to have them changed in one direction or another. If someone wishes to, however, it should be with something that technically is not money — perhaps Bitcoins. Full story»

SAN FRANCISCO, California -- Gizmodo has reported that Ashley Madison is full of robots impersonating women and has very few real women on the website at all.

Suspicions were first raised when Gizmodo coder Don “the data” Perkins, on a mission to lose his virginity before his 40th birthday in October, was fixed up with a spidery-looking spray-painting robot. Full story»

Chris Christie
LACONIA, New Hampshire -- Chris Christie (R-NJ) has proposed that a bar-coded sticker be attached to the forehead of every illegal immigrant.

Any federal official with a compatible wand could scan Mexicans, to ensure that everyone standing around in the Home Depot parking lot arrives at some nearby construction site. Full story»

DONCASTER, England -- Nigel Farage has announced that the UK Independence Party will wage a referendum campaign to have Britain leave the EU, independently to the rest of Westminster.

Farage called this a continuation of UKIP party tradition of being independent of anything possible — even of people with the same views. Full story»

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About UnNews
Created by the Uncyclomedia Foundation

UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible. Full story»

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This day in 2013

TV Highlights September 4

Quinn the Quantum Guy Children
Nick Jr. 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT
If you read this, you cannot watch the show. If you watch the show, you cannot have read this.

Product Testing Lab Documentary
Discovery. 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT
Minute examination of how products are tested. This week: Preparation-H.

Repeat of 1960s American Drama Drama
CBS Action. 5:00 PM GMT
This week Captain Kirk meets Walker Texas Ranger in NCIS for the showdown of a lifetime.

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