“I'd better be getting fucking royalties for this.”
Madeleine the movie: McCanns in talks with Disney
A newsstand that's brimming with issues
Tuesday, May 3, 2016, 20:49:UTC)(
8 January 2008
THE CRIMINALLY NEGLECTFUL PARENTS of missing Madeleine McCann are in "advanced talks" with Disney with a view of producing an feature length movie of the horrific events and obscene media circus in which the McCanns have selflessly orchestrated a series of increasingly wild attempts to deflect responsibility for the poor girls likely demise away from themselves.
The working title for the movie is thought to be "Who hasn't left their 3 year old child unattended for Hours on End, I know that I have!" and Steven Spielberg himself has expressed an interest in directing and/or producing any film. Hollywood actors are all thought to be clamouring for the lead roles with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie hotly tipped to play the McCanns. Madonna's daughter Lourdes is hotly tipped to play the role Madeleine!
The film is likely to be targeted to a younger audience and is likely to follow in much the same vein as Shrek, Toy Story and Schindlers List. A source close to the McCanns said: "With the public rapidly tiring of this whole sorry saga and with all that lovely cash raised in good faith running out we need to explore all avenues to keep this nasty little gravy train rolling, so to speak."
The film project came about after a planned TV entertainment extravaganza was screened in August. The event, watched by nearly 200 people, was deemed a "great success" in further muddying the waters of what and who is to blame for the events leading up to Madeleine disappearance.
The source added: "The million-pound film deal is possible. It is the sort of thing we would look at seriously because in one fell swoop we could all retire to Barbados and eat at Tapas bars for the rest of our sorry little lives!".
Madeleine McCann was unavailable for comment last night.