UnNews:Macbeth Arrested In Libya
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Macbeth Arrested In Libya
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Monday, February 19, 2018, 21:24:UTC)(
9 October 2009
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TRIPOLI, Libya -- A legal attempt to extradite the former Scottish King Macbeth back to Scotland for killing King Duncan , bumping off Banquo , murdering the Macduff family and consorting with witches to practice necromancy are now being considered by the Libyan Judicial system.
Judge Ibrahim Al Qaddafi said the charges were ‘grave’ and had ordered the arrest of Macbeth in Tripoli when he arrived there to pick up the Best Historical Villain Award Tapestry. A clearly surprised Macbeth who thought he was there under the protection of King Thierry Henry of France , was shocked to have a rope thrown around his neck as he was making his acception speech.
The Libyans have no right to arrest me . All this stuff about me murdering Duncan is a lie – I hacked him down with my claymore in a battle where I was in no mood to take prisoners. As for the other charges, I will can tell you they were made up by the Anglo-Saxons . I have never heard of Banquo – unless you mean the Banquo of England…
When Macbeth was then asked if these stories about him being a knife happy killer were untrue, then why was he in Tripoli to collect the award which accuses him of just these crimes? Macbeth said that was just ‘ Royal Showbiz’ and a ‘harmless fabrication’ to help boost the sales of his book A Royal Guide to Running a Wet and Cold Country.
…now look, this is the eleventh century and let me know if anyone will remember any king from this time ! I have been given many awards before and in France they have long taken me seriously as a very interesting man with a good story to tell. So who isn’t guilty of a little bit of elaboration to get a commemorative tapestry woven for them ?
The French king is said to be making representations to the Libyan government to have Macbeth released back to them where they say he will be confined to his villa with only limited access to one loose woman a day. However the Libyans are said to be less impressed with this offer and are almost now certain to send Macbeth to Scotland to face trial.
He is a very dangerous man , a spokes herald for King Malcolm of Scotland confirmed . We have a charge list that I can scroll right down to the bottom if you are interested. Macbeth is a blood thirsty loser and us Scots hate whingers more than we do the English .
It is understood the tapestry prize has now been awarded to Duke William of Normandy. His brother Odo was there to collect it on his behalf.