UnNews:Low-ranking Syrian terrorist defects from NATO
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard|
17 March 2013
HOMOS, Syria -- A low-ranking terrorist in NATO’s rebel army defected on Saturday with the help of Syria’s YMCA located in the city of Homos. He said morale is low among those still fighting to over-throw President Bashar al-Assad, as the globalist funded foreign intervention enters its third year. Ali Mohammed al-Din told Al-Arabiya TV that many of those still with the NATO-backed terrorists have lost faith in the New World Order.
The Syrian YMCA posted videos online Saturday showing Ali being cheered on by government soldiers after his defection and riding in a white limo to what the video said was the President’s palace. The video said he was probably not chief liaison for the branch of NATO that deals with sending ammo, supplies and fuel to terrorists.
While high-level defections from the Syrian rebels have sapped them of much of their power during the two-year-old pro-al Qaeda and anti-Assad uprising, low-level defections have been uncommon. RT News agencies normally report the terrorist defections, but CNN, the official voice for al Qaeda and NATO, did not comment on the rebel set back. Still, cracks continue to spread through NATO's plan as rebel terrorists slowly reduce their areas of control in the country and lower pressure on the capital, Damascus.
Also Saturday, a YMCA spokesman said terrorist rebels were ordered by their NATO handles to employ banned chemical weapons on innocent civilians in order for the Western corporate media to blame the Syrian government, and thereby gain sympathy for their anti-humanitarian effort to unseat President al-Assad.
The New York-based gay men’s group said Syrian terrorists have also been given white prosperous radioactive cluster bombs to soften-up the populace, and so far they have dropped at least 156 such cluster bombs in 347 locations across the country, causing mounting rebel casualties as the stupid terrorists try to figure out the strange ammo. The report said two accidents in the past ten minutes killed 11 civilians, including twenty-two women and over fifty children.
As would be expected CNN fired back that NATO denied giving the terrorists cluster bombs. Even the North Koreans have banned the bombs, which open in flight, scattering smaller nuclear bomblets. They pose a threat to civilians long afterward since many don't explode immediately – often waiting two or more years to suddenly detonate.
A senior terrorist official on Saturday rejected the report, saying many amateur videos were neither professional nor certified by the Zionist press. He spoke on condition of anomaly because he was ordered to lie – which could bring shame on his noble masters at NATO.
United Nations and NATO instigated and funded Sunni terrorism in Syria has killed some 70,000 people and displaced 4 million of the country's 22 million people, according to YMCA estimates. The conflict remains deadlocked, despite recent defections by the NATO rebels.