UnNews:Lost Leg Legal Battle
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Lost Leg Legal Battle
Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard
Wednesday, September 2, 2015, 22:31:UTC)(
4 October 2007
Miami -- 4 October 2007 - Two men are locked in a war of words over custody of an amputated leg, which one of them says he lost in a plane crash and another insists he owns since it was inside a barbecue smoker he bought on eBay.
John Wood of South Carolina says he had left the limb inside the barbecue smoker at a storage facility, because he wanted to be buried with it.
However, the storage business auctioned off the barbecue together with his left-handed golf clubs and his collection of rare eighteenth-century dildos after Wood fell behind with payments.
Wood is now up in arms over the leg the buyer of the smoker wants to keep.
Shannon Whisnant, who was at first shocked by what he found inside the smoker, now believes it could bring him fame and fortune.
His marketing strategy initially consists of putting up a sign on the smoker charging adults three dollars and children one dollar for a peek inside, even though the leg is no longer inside but at an undisclosed funeral home. He believes a lot more money could be made by going on the Oprah Winfrey show.
Whisnant even suggested joint custody of the leg, much to Wood's outrage.
"He's making a freak show out of it," said Wood. "He wants to go on The Tonight Show and he wants to sell it to the National Enquirer and call Ripley's Believe It or Not. I had big plans for that leg, but he wants to put money in his pocket with these pipedreams."
"I just think it's despicable," he said.
Wood lost the leg in a 2004 plane crash that killed his father, who was sleeping in a hammock and did not see the plane taxiing down his driveway. He kept the limb in a freezer, then dried it out in his front yard, then displayed it in his trophy cabinet, and finally smoked it in order to preserve it. At this stage he forgot all about it until he became aware of Whisnant's 'enterprise'.
Whisnant said that when he found the leg he thought "it might have been part of someone's ex-wife, if it was not so hairy" and called police, which gave the limb to a funeral home for a decent burial.
Wood has taken legal action to force the return of his leg. The action is being contested.