UnNews:Lorry Farms Close
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Lorry Farms Close
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, July 29, 2016, 21:42:UTC)(
19 May 2006
England-Many millions of individuals are feeling the modern petrolium costs crunch their bugets. None more so, perhaps, than the noble lorry farmers of northeastern England. With outrageous petrolium prices slicing deeply into England's economy, the time-honoured lorry farmers are having to sell off their farms and land for mere loaves of bred.
"I just don't get it," said Franklin Tiresworth, a thrid-generation lorry farmer. "It's always been a steady business. Why, in the Great War my granddad sold a thousand lorries to the military. And if there wasn't a war, there were always people who needed their rubbish hauled about. Now, it's like a whole era's over."
Indeed, Mr. Tiresworth's words may not even go far enough. Since the advent of the automobile, a healthily growing market has always been present, especially in the countryside. In the past, the government had intervened during recessions to keep the farms alive. Now, Parliament is turning a blind eye to the farmers who depend on them.
Continued Tiresworth, "Well, I guess I'm off to the slums of London. Nothing left for me here but broken dreams."