UnNews:Lord's Prayer updated

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
This article is part of UnNews UnNews Logo Potato1 We distort, you deride

15 November 2010

Church of tesco1

Westminster Abbey, yesterday.

CANTERBURY, England -- The announcement that a branch of a leading British supermarket had opened inside a former Methodist church in Bournemouth caused expressions of dismay across the United Kingdom. However, at an emergency meeting of the General Synod of the Anglican convention, the Archbishop of Canterbury admitted that he was powerless to intervene.

“We must face reality and move with the times,” he announced before issuing a specially rewritten Lord’s Prayer that he claimed would “Allow shoppers to consider the words of Our Lord as they stand in line for the delicatessen."

Cquote1 Our Father who art on offer,
Asda be thy name.
Wal-Mart hath come,
Check-out is done,
In Spar as it is in Netto.
Discount today our daily bread,
And redeem us our Nectar Points,
As we flourish our Club-card before you.
And lead us not onto the High Street,
But deliver us to Lidl.
For Thine is the Co-op, Morrison’s and Tesco.
For ever and ever,

Aldi.
Cquote2

edit Sources

Staff "Former Bournemouth church turned into Tesco store". BBC News, November 12, 2010

Personal tools
projects