UnNews:Lollipop woman back from the dead

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
This article is part of UnNews UnNews Logo Potato1 Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard

25 December 2007

Deadlollipop

Terrified children stayed off the streets of Aberdeen last Thursday.

Aberdeen, Scotland - The Christmas holidays came a couple of days early for the terrified pupils of a Primary School in Torry, Aberdeen when their beloved lollipop lady returned from the dead.

Mrs June McCombie who died age 60 after suffering a serious heart attack had been sadly missed by parents and pupils alike. However, returning from the afterlife, Mrs McCombie returned to Walker Road Primary, in Torry, where she worked to tell pupils she was still walking the streets. Appearing in front of the school assembly with a lollipop stick in one hand and a Death-style sythe in the other, terrified children and teachers ran for the exits towards the safety of their homes as Mrs McCombie broke down in tears.

She told the assembly with a slight twist of the famous quote attributed to Mark Twain - "Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. Despite false rumours, I wis nae run o'er by a big fish larry on ma way hame last wikk... it wis jist a nasty heart attack fae 5 fish and haggis suppers a wikk."

Mrs McCombie added: "My life revolved around the children and I hope to go back to work in January. So, I went to the school when I got out of the funeral parlour and surprised them all."

Aberdeen City Council officials were forced to close the school after reports of the ghostly hauntings. One terrified child then unfortunately caught Scrooge on the TV later on when she then thought that her lollipop lady was one of the Christmas spirits "coming to steal her and take her away".

edit Sources

Personal tools
projects