UnNews:Litter a see is on Dee Kline expurtz say
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Litter a see is on Dee Kline expurtz say
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Sunday, August 28, 2016, 14:08:UTC)(
12 November 2006
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OUKLUNT, CALIPHERNEA -- Akording 2 a nashunul survay conduckted by the US Duhpartmint uv Edyookayshun, Ingglish litter a see among collige gradyooits has Dee Klined dramaticklee in the past 10 yeers. Onlee 31 per sent uv collige gradyooits 2day R profishunt in Ingglish litter a see, cumpaired with 40 per sent just a decayde ago. Theez findingz wur cunfirmd buy a fedurrull stuhdee conduckted by the Nashunul Sentur for Edyookayshun Stuhtissticks.
Litter a see expurts and edyoukayturz say thay R surprised by the results, and cuncerned beecuz the daytuh cums with no obveeus explanashun.
"Its uhppolling -- its reelee asstownding," sed Mikul Gormun, prezident uv the American Liebraree Assoseeashun and a liebraireeun at Caliphernea State Yooniversitsee at Frezno.
"Wuts dissturrbing iz that the ahsessmunt is not desined 2 test ur undur standing of Proost, butt 2 test ur abillitee 2 read laybulls," sed Mark Shnyedur, commishunur of edyookayshun stuhtissticks.
Growvur Jay Witehurst, the duhrecktor uv the Duhpartmint uv Edyookayshun Institoot ruhsponsubul for over seeing the Nashunul Ahsessmunt uv Uhdult Litter a see, sed that he beeleevs that litter a see is Dee Kline ing as a reezult uv the inkrees in tell a vizshun vyouing and surfing the Internet.
Jonathin Millur, chair man and cheef eggsecutiv offisur of AOL sed the akusashuns wur nonsens.
"AOL putz peeople in tuch, alowwing them 2 typ 2 eech uther in reel time veeuh AOL instunt messungur. Wee promoat litter a see through actyv cumyooincayshun."