UnNews:Links Between Video Games and The Black Death Investigated
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Links Between Video Games and The Black Death Investigated
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Wednesday, July 27, 2016, 11:37:UTC)(
21 August 2007
A recent study has connected the popular video game World of Warcraft to a deadly viral outbreak. Scholars now researching the subject believe that an early MMORPG known as "serfdom" may have been the starting point for the Bubonic Plague, also known as the Black Death. This killed many people across the "Europe" server, as well as a few cute little kittens and was only contained when the entire infected population had their accounts deleted by Blizzard.
Players quickly became outraged by the Lord's silence in the Forum and started leaving the game in droves, often later referred to as the renaissance because of the tan reappearing in art and culture.
Notable video games expert Jack Thompson has expressed concern over these findings, requesting that all video games and souls be confiscated before it's too late. Mr. Thompson is notable for his recent defeat of the murder simulator "Bioshock", a game where fluffy kittens and small children are eaten by grues.
Health officials suggest that all current players of Real Life, Fake Life, World of Warcraft and politics have themselves vaccinated immediately against all the major causes of in-game death, including Grue Fodder Syndrome (GFS), Kleptocidal Mania (also known as kill stealing) and Grue Kleptocidal Mania (A variant of kill stealing which often proves fatal).
Reports of a recent outbreak of Gruephilic Journalism remain unconfirmed. Symptoms include vomiting, dancing, sitting in the dark and ending all paragraphs with a reference to grues.