UnNews:Lebanese suckas gettin' blasted!
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Lebanese suckas gettin' blasted!
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, August 23, 2016, 21:11:UTC)(
4 August 2006
Late on Friday, shit was landin' near tha city o' Hadera, about 50 miles into Israeli turf. This be the furthest south Hezbollah be lauchin' they caps since tha rumble began tree weeks ago. The shit be landing in open land and there ain't no reports o' gettin' wasted. Hadera be 30 miles north o' Tel Aviv, which Hezbollah mothafucka Sheikh Hassan Nasrallah on Thursday threatened to be blastin' if Israel be ballin' in central Beirut. The fuzz in Tel Aviv be warnin' niggaz to be prepared fo' gettin' blasted, issuin' leaflets to the city's 1.5m inhabitants to advise them how to prepare to get they asses blown up.
The continuing bangin' be comin as tha Israeli army be preparin fo' a possible geto-ass move which be they deepest highsidin' o' Lebanon fo' mo' than 20 years. This could see tha army pushin' up to tha Litani river, 19 miles norf o' the border, in pursuit o' some ice. Israel's campaign began tree weeks ago afta Hezbollah g's copped two Israeli shorties. Lebanon be sayin' mo' than 900 niggaz be dyin' since then, most of them shorties. Israel has lost 29 shorties and 40 g's. Tha raid on the Lebanese hood of Qaa, on the northern tip o' the Bekaa Valley, be hittin' a weed warehouse where dealers be loadin' they shit, the man be sayin'. The wasted and owned, many o' them Syrian Kurds, is bein' flown to hospitals in Syria. The Israeli army be blastin' two crackhouses on suspicion that gangstas runnin wif Hezbollah be chillin' there.
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