UnNews:Lebanese citizens protest lack of war efforts

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
This article is part of UnNews UnNews Logo Potato1 Your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.

7 February 2009

UnNews Logo Potato
This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.
Lebanesemilitia

Lebanese citizens concerned over lack of war

BEIRUT, Lebanon — Beirut and other Lebanese cities have seen a growing number of protesters against the anti-war efforts that seem to be taking control of the region, the usually energized, healthy, armed-to-the-teeth and fanatic region has been without any significant war since almost 2 years already.

According to Lebanese spokesman Aziz Fill-Muhabarat who spoke on conditions of anonymity because he was not entitled to talk to the press, the peaceful situation is causing a huge decrease in the number of martyrs and widows not to mention the dangerous increase in the number of residential buildings and an overall amelioration of economy a situation that he called "unacceptable".

A study shows that after the war in Gaza, Israeli-Lebanese conflicts usually scheduled in early summer will most likely be jeopardized by continuous peace which might last through summer threatening to bring thousands of tourists which in turn will refresh the national economy and boost a variety of sectors especially the banking sector and the prostitution sector which is relying heavily on the tourism because locals prefer to wait for their virgins after being killed in battle. The Lebanese economy relies on this sector for 84.3% of its income.

Some local politicians said that they will do whatever is in their power to avoid the tragedy of an economic boost and try to cause a war soon, the spokesman from a local politico-militaristic party said "We will go to warch, fight their airchrafts with ourch kalatchnikovs and bringch honorch and glorych!", the anti-anti-war movement said they are awaiting the promised glory.

Personal tools
projects