UnNews:Lavrov suggests US join war on terror
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Lavrov suggests US join war on terror
Where man always bites dog
Saturday, May 28, 2016, 16:14:UTC)(
26 December 2013
- Pope sardonically suggests a “peaceful” ending to war
- Uganda issues anti-gay commemorative condoms
- US Air Force denies existence of Santa Claus
- NSA adds “domestic spying” to top list of charges against Snowden
SYRIA -- Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov recently reminded the Western corporate media about the "War on terror", which they seem to have forgotten. "No place on earth has terrorism and Islamic Jihad worse than in Syria now, but rather than help the secular government fight this evil, NATO and other Saudi petro-pimps have openly sided with the bad guys.
"I wish that our Western partners, who have more influence on terrorists than even Osama bin Laden, will make sure, firstly, that the War on terror must be against the terrorists," he continued, “and not for them. The very point of the the war on terror is that the people of Syria and everywhere should be given assistance in the global war on terror” Lavrov said.
"But fortunately we know what these terrorists, who have over-powered the so-called National Coalition of Foreign Citizen Pacifists (NCFCP), will do, and that is simply more of the same. The terrorists are so predictable. Just as odor is connected to feces, so terror is inseparable from terrorism," the Foreign Minister pointed out. "We are alarmed that the only organized group within the NCFCP who represent the Prophet is al-Qaeda, while the al-McCain faction has no real say other than representing their own profit.
"We are also alarmed that the so-called opposition has virtually no control over terrorists engaged in terrorizing the Syrians,” Lavrov continued. “And it is specially disconcerting that we see among the terrorists an increasing number of American politicians, including senators.
“After all, the goal of the terrorists is to plunder, set up a caliphate, impose stone-age laws, and exterminate all minorities,” he asserted. “Incidents of anti-Christian and anti-civilization violence are happening daily. Before the crisis, Christians were living in Syria, but now they’re dying instead." he lamented. "There are even incidents when new-born babies, especially old priests and nuns, were taken out of their incubators by terrorists in the town of Maaloula, which is the only place in the world where people still have never heard of Justin Bieber.
"We know from our contacts with Christian communities in Syria that they are very worried,” he said. “Because Christians living in Syria for centuries before the birth of Islam now face extermination at the hands of Islamic terrorists. And let us be clear, it is the terrorists who are committing terrorism, not the Syrian government who are fighting it.
"So, first of all, it is necessary to come to an agreement that fighting terrorism is the number one priority. The ‘War on terror’, remember?" Lavrov smirked.
- Repeater "West trying to ‘flirt’ with Islamic front in Syrian crisis - Lavrov to RT". RT News, December 25, 2013