UnNews:Lars Ulrich to join Alvin and the Chipmunks
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Lars Ulrich to join Alvin and the Chipmunks
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, July 1, 2016, 02:48:UTC)(
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16 May 2009
At 11:43 last night, authorities were called to a home in California, where Theodore Seville, the drummer of Alvin and the Chipmunks, was found overdosed on a mixture of cocaine and sherbert. He was treated in hospital and discharged this morning, but his bandmates were furious and immediately fired him. In a statement, Simon said that "We have always been proud of having no drugs in this band, to the point where we refused to go on tour with The Jonas Brothers. For Theodore to undermine that is disgusting."
Many drummers have offered to fill Theodore's place so far, but the remaining bandmates have unanimously decided to pick Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich. When asked why, Alvin said, "He is small enough not to make the Chipmunks feel intimidated". Apparently, he has a "horrible voice" also.
As well as the changing of a band member, Alvin and the Chipmunks are going in a new direction musically. Alvin commented, With new bands like Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco and My Chemical Romance, I don't feel like our high-voiced cheesy songs stand out anymore. We're going to do a really mellow album, with like, tubas and stuff. I'm sick of all this pop star sh**."